Error 404 - Finances Not Found
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   11th Sep 2016   •   887 views   •   1 comments
Error 404 Finances Not Found

Have you ever spent a few minutes sitting and listening while your much beloved (and deeply loathed) equestrian companion talks about the $60 she spent on her horse’s fancy new shoes, while your own moth-eaten sneakers gape sadly at the soles? Did it make you want to high five her rich, spoiled little face with a chair? Well then hold onto your second-hand hats and try not to fall through the budget picnic chairs, because you are about to be enlightened, whips & leather style.

It is a well known fact that horses are expensive. Perhaps lesser known is just exactly how expensive they are. The short answer is, way too expensive to warrant any sane human being owning one. That does not stop us. What many people don’t understand is that the costs of owning a horse can vary quite extravagantly, which basically divides horse owners into three main categories:

ONE: Filthy, Stinkin’ Rich
This is the no-longer-bored housewife who is married to the likes of Bill Gates, the super villain looking for a hobby to ease his troubled conscience, and the little darling princess whose love Daddy had to buy when she caught him in the hot tub with the nanny (again). This rider will have a $600k horse imported from Holland, with a saddle worth $7500, a horsebox worth over 100k, and top class livery in the fanciest district at over $1500 per month. They’ll also have weekly lessons with two top instructors at over $100 per lesson. The number of horses this rider owns seems to multiply alarmingly often, and each time the horse seems to increase in value, yet the rider’s bank account always appears remarkably undamaged by these minor financial inconveniences.
Error 404 Finances Not Found

TWO: Managing, Somehow
This is your average Joe with the expensive habit - like a businessman with a costly drug addiction, only more financially devastating. This is the person who owns a fairly successful business, or works a good, well-paying job with such long hours that they don’t know what their horse looks like in the light. They’ll usually have a well bred, well trained horse from a local stud, probably costing somewhere between $6000 - $12000, and will keep it at the cheapest safe and convenient livery available, most likely for around $400 - $700 per month. They manage to keep themselves and their horses alive fairly comfortably, but do without the luxuries that most assume rich people ought to have.

THREE: Horse Poor
Contrary to popular belief, this is the category that the vast majority of horse owners fall into. They have the same daily financial struggles as everyone else, plus the added struggle of an animal that basically eats money and poops vet bills. They have no luxury items, and those they do have are posted on Gumtree to cover the cost of Fluffy’s stitches from that time he decided to test the budget livery’s barbed wire fences with his leg. They work two jobs and haven’t known the meaning of the word “sleep” since they rescued scrawny, slightly mad Fluffy from his racing career. Most days they can’t afford meals, but that’s all right, because since they couldn’t afford new clothes or a new haircut for the last six years, people tend to take pity on the homeless-looking souls and toss them a free roll from time to time - which they’ll split up and feed with Fluffy: the fat, happy and glowing trophy of their labours and toils.

So next time you feel yourself seething with jealous frustration upon hearing how your friend just spent enough on her horse to have purchased a small second hand car, remember that the money horse people spend and the money they have are entirely different things. In fact, most of the money we spend, we’ve never had in the first place. We’re just twiddling our thumbs and hoping we’ll win the lottery before our debts catch up with us, and we’ll have to stuff Fluffy into a suitcase, change our identities, and flee to Timbuktu.
Error 404 - Finances Not Found
Error 404 - Finances Not Found
Horse News More In This Category:  General      Horse News More From This Author:  Polo the Weirdo
ECE Equestrian
Ha lol! Yes people just don't understand?
  Oct 25, 2016  •  753 views
 More News by Polo the Weirdo
How Long Does it Take to Back a Horse
30th Dec 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
We all know that backing a young horse is not for the weak-hearted. Horses struggle with new experiences at the best of times, and often backing involves throwing a thousand new questions at once at a young horse not yet equipped ...
Twelve Days of Christmas
23rd Dec 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Tis the season of giving, everyone! And for those of us with horses, this means that the Christmas stockings will be full fit to burst! With vet bills... and thrown shoes... and wasted food... and bits of broken tack... and that t ...
Team Weirdo Professional Circuit
17th Dec 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
It has been an interesting year for Team Weirdo. For starters, I’ve not been able to come up with a better name than ‘Team Weirdo’, and I guess it has stuck, which is... inconvenient, I suppose, but not unfitting. Beyond that, 201 ...
So You Want To Buy A Horse
11th Dec 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
So, you’ve decided you want a new horse! You’ve got your empty stable full of fresh shavings, your life’s savings (and a few week-old carrot pieces) in your fanny pack and all the dreams and expectations in the world! You’re all s ...
A Tribute To Polo
19th Nov 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
So, to my Polo, goodbye, and thank you. You were more important to me than you could ever know. And to all you at Ponybox, Hello again, and thanks for waiting. With this long overdue tribute to a very special muse, Polo the Weirdo ...
Stolen Horse Raced to Death
6th May 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
For many people all over the world, the Easter weekend is a very happy time – full of love, life and family. However, for a select few South African horses, the Easter weekend has become a fearful time of danger, pain and sufferin ...
Finnish Hobbyhorse Association
23rd Apr 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Over the last decade, the sport of hobbyhorse riding has grown to become a global craze among teenage girls, culminating in a plethora of social media attention following the decision of Finnish film-maker and academy award winner ...
Top Ten Similarities Between Your Horse and the Easter Bunny
22nd Apr 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
With Easter just around the corner, we all have a lot of questions in our minds. How many Easter Eggs will I get? Where will they be hiding? Where can I hide them where my siblings can never, ever (ever) find them? Did we really f ...
  View All News by Polo the Weirdo
©2002 - 2018   PonyBox LLC Create Account Terms & Conditions Privacy Contact Us
343 Members Online 239,123 Registered Members 2,406 News Articles 9,867,223 Unique News Article Views 213,946,794 Website Views