Horses

Forums
Error 404 - Finances Not Found
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   11th Sep 2016   •   455 views   •   1 comments
Error 404 Finances Not Found

Have you ever spent a few minutes sitting and listening while your much beloved (and deeply loathed) equestrian companion talks about the $60 she spent on her horse’s fancy new shoes, while your own moth-eaten sneakers gape sadly at the soles? Did it make you want to high five her rich, spoiled little face with a chair? Well then hold onto your second-hand hats and try not to fall through the budget picnic chairs, because you are about to be enlightened, whips & leather style.

It is a well known fact that horses are expensive. Perhaps lesser known is just exactly how expensive they are. The short answer is, way too expensive to warrant any sane human being owning one. That does not stop us. What many people don’t understand is that the costs of owning a horse can vary quite extravagantly, which basically divides horse owners into three main categories:

ONE: Filthy, Stinkin’ Rich
This is the no-longer-bored housewife who is married to the likes of Bill Gates, the super villain looking for a hobby to ease his troubled conscience, and the little darling princess whose love Daddy had to buy when she caught him in the hot tub with the nanny (again). This rider will have a $600k horse imported from Holland, with a saddle worth $7500, a horsebox worth over 100k, and top class livery in the fanciest district at over $1500 per month. They’ll also have weekly lessons with two top instructors at over $100 per lesson. The number of horses this rider owns seems to multiply alarmingly often, and each time the horse seems to increase in value, yet the rider’s bank account always appears remarkably undamaged by these minor financial inconveniences.
Error 404 Finances Not Found

TWO: Managing, Somehow
This is your average Joe with the expensive habit - like a businessman with a costly drug addiction, only more financially devastating. This is the person who owns a fairly successful business, or works a good, well-paying job with such long hours that they don’t know what their horse looks like in the light. They’ll usually have a well bred, well trained horse from a local stud, probably costing somewhere between $6000 - $12000, and will keep it at the cheapest safe and convenient livery available, most likely for around $400 - $700 per month. They manage to keep themselves and their horses alive fairly comfortably, but do without the luxuries that most assume rich people ought to have.

THREE: Horse Poor
Contrary to popular belief, this is the category that the vast majority of horse owners fall into. They have the same daily financial struggles as everyone else, plus the added struggle of an animal that basically eats money and poops vet bills. They have no luxury items, and those they do have are posted on Gumtree to cover the cost of Fluffy’s stitches from that time he decided to test the budget livery’s barbed wire fences with his leg. They work two jobs and haven’t known the meaning of the word “sleep” since they rescued scrawny, slightly mad Fluffy from his racing career. Most days they can’t afford meals, but that’s all right, because since they couldn’t afford new clothes or a new haircut for the last six years, people tend to take pity on the homeless-looking souls and toss them a free roll from time to time - which they’ll split up and feed with Fluffy: the fat, happy and glowing trophy of their labours and toils.

So next time you feel yourself seething with jealous frustration upon hearing how your friend just spent enough on her horse to have purchased a small second hand car, remember that the money horse people spend and the money they have are entirely different things. In fact, most of the money we spend, we’ve never had in the first place. We’re just twiddling our thumbs and hoping we’ll win the lottery before our debts catch up with us, and we’ll have to stuff Fluffy into a suitcase, change our identities, and flee to Timbuktu.
Error 404 - Finances Not Found
Error 404 - Finances Not Found
Horse News More In This Category:  General      Horse News More From This Author:  Polo the Weirdo
TC Pony Power
Ha lol! Yes people just don't understand?
  Oct 25, 2016  •  267 views
 More News by Polo the Weirdo
Fun Riding A Horse Without Owners Permission
18th Mar 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Children, experience has taught me, are generally reckless and have not yet learned respect for other people’s property, nor any regard for the consequences to their actions. And since riding schools are notoriously buzzing like a ...
10 Signs you have the Wrong Instructor
10th Mar 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
If your instructor is able to get through more than three bottles of wine in a lesson, you probably have the wrong instructor. Or your instructor has the wrong pupil. You should never drive instructors to alcoholism, no matter how ...
Opinionated Equestrians Confidence Issues
20th Feb 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
As an occasionally arrogant, usually opinionated, and ‘always right’ equestrian, I feel that my opinion on all equestrian matters is relevant and important. Of course, this view is basically the ‘crazy horse lady starter kit’. We’ ...
Your Horses Valentines Plan
15th Feb 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Horses spend the majority of their lives eating, snoozing, and occasionally spooking at their own farts. With such a blissful existence, it’s pretty difficult to imagine how a horse could make things any more romantic. Still, when ...
My Little Lion Horse
15th Oct 2016   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Many of you who have followed my previous articles will know of Moonfire, or ‘Moo’ – my arrogant, conceited, obnoxious, yet extremely lovable and talented thoroughbred gelding. You might also know that Moo has been enormously succ ...
My Horse is a #$@&%*!
8th Oct 2016   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
As I write this, I am soaking wet from the knee-down, with puddles in my boots, and sand in places I’d rather not mention. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: My horse is an #$@&%*! ...
Similarities between Students and Equestrians
4th Sep 2016   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Being part of both worlds, I couldn’t help but notice certain shocking similarities between students and equestrians. Though all must agree that both students and equestrians are unique breeds that just don’t quite ‘fit’ with the ...
What if horses could play Pokemon Go
21st Aug 2016   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Pokemon Go, an augmented reality mobile game based on Nintendo’s Pokemon series, is the latest craze taking over the globe. Pokemon Go places virtual Pokemon on a real world GPS map, encouraging players to capture, collect, and ba ...
  View All News by Polo the Weirdo
 
Active News Discussions
Is Eventing Really Too Dangerous
2
comments
Is Eventing Really Too Dangerous
Horse Grooming - Beyond the Basics
1
comments
Horse Grooming - Beyond the Basics
Error 404 - Finances Not Found
1
comments
Error 404 - Finances Not Found
Unicorn Lair Discovered in North Korea
8
comments
Unicorn Lair Discovered in North Korea
If Horses Were Feminists
12
comments
If Horses Were Feminists
Horse Show Riders Dismounted Based on Weight
6
comments
Horse Show Riders Dismounted Based on Weight
Escape - Attacked While Riding Alone
28
comments
Escape - Attacked While Riding Alone
How To Tell if Your Horse is Trying To Kill You
5
comments
How To Tell if Your Horse is Trying To Kill You
Five Great Pony and Horse Breeds for Kids
1
comments
Five Great Pony and Horse Breeds for Kids
My Horse is a #$@&%*!
6
comments
My Horse is a #$@&%*!
 
©2002 - 2017   PonyBox LLC Create Account Terms & Conditions Privacy Contact Us
399 Members Online 236,433 Registered Members 2,248 News Articles 8,881,363 Unique News Article Views 190,766,422 Website Views