Horses

Forums
Alternative Horse Uses
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   8th Apr 2017   •   205 views   •   0 comments
Alternative Horse Uses

Horses are useful animals. They can transport people across long distances, or pull classy carriages for urban transport. They can carry soldiers into battle, and help farmers keep livestock in line. They can improve quality of living for children with mental disabilities, and help prisoners build new and better lives. And, obviously, they allow us all to take part in exhilarating equestrian sports, or experience great enjoyment through pleasure riding. Horses have had many uses throughout history, but have you ever considered that we may be overlooking their most obvious, most ‘fitting’ uses? Here are some alternative uses for the modern horse.

Ghostbusting
Unlike humans brandishing impressive but useless technological devices, horses actually can detect ghosts. I can’t tell you whether or not these ghosts actually exist, so who knows how useful the skill will be, but horses will definitely find them. Real or not. Who you gonna call? Your pony.

Body Modification
Do you want flat feet? A collection of bumps or knobs on your head? As science fiction has shown us, already existing body modification trends are likely to become more popular as they extend into the future, and it becomes easier, more painless, and more affordable to have the body you want. Horses have always been good at creating head-bumps, at least in my experience. And if flat feet do become popular, just slap on a pair of sandals before you go to the stable, and voila.

Person Training
Fitness is definitely one of the biggest trends of the 21st century (although obesity seems to be another). Irony aside, these trends combined amount to a huge demand for personal trainers, for fatties and fitness freaks alike. And as anyone who has tried to catch an unwilling horse in an open field can tell you, horses are the best personal trainers when it comes to getting fit. Infinite laps around a paddock with a halter over your shoulder will get that weight off quick enough.

Parkour Coaching
Parkour is a type of training discipline based on military obstacle courses. It involves running up walls, jumping off obstacles, and generally acting like you’re part of an on-foot police chase in an action movie. If your horse has lousy ground manners, chances are you’ve accidentally become very good at parkour while scrambling over stable walls to avoid getting crushed in the doorway, or diving through arena fences so you don’t end up squished when your horse decides the grass on the other side looks greener. Nothing like a half-ton animal and a little fear of death to motivate self-improvement.

Date-Escape Services
Having a terrible first date and not quite sure how to get rid of him without hurting his feelings? Introduce him to your horse. One snotty snort and a crushed foot later, he probably won’t be coming back. Heck, if he does, he probably deserves the second date. Or you need a more obnoxious horse.

What alternative horse uses can you think of? Do you think your horse would make a good poop-artist, or fart-musician? Does he have a future in carrot accounting? Let us know in the comments below.
Horse News More In This Category:  General      Horse News More From This Author:  Polo the Weirdo
 More News by Polo the Weirdo
Stolen Horse Raced to Death
6th May 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
For many people all over the world, the Easter weekend is a very happy time – full of love, life and family. However, for a select few South African horses, the Easter weekend has become a fearful time of danger, pain and sufferin ...
Finnish Hobbyhorse Association
23rd Apr 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Over the last decade, the sport of hobbyhorse riding has grown to become a global craze among teenage girls, culminating in a plethora of social media attention following the decision of Finnish film-maker and academy award winner ...
Top Ten Similarities Between Your Horse and the Easter Bunny
22nd Apr 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
With Easter just around the corner, we all have a lot of questions in our minds. How many Easter Eggs will I get? Where will they be hiding? Where can I hide them where my siblings can never, ever (ever) find them? Did we really f ...
If Horses Were Celebrities
17th Apr 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Horse and Hound recently released a quiz which tells you, based on a series of questions, what celebrity your horse would be if he was a human. Unsurprisingly, my own Moonfire would probably be Kanye West. This got me thinking, if ...
Alternative Equine Behavior Issues
15th Apr 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Have you ever thought about the terms that we equestrians use for horse behavior problems, and what those terms would sound like to the average man on the street? Our jargon often leads to much confusion for the layman (which ofte ...
Riding Ex Racehorse Tackless On Beach VIDEO
9th Apr 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Have you ever wondered what would happen if you took an ex-racehorse out into a wide-open space, like a beach? Have you ever wondered what would happen, if you were to strip off all tack, and take that ex-racehorse out in a neck s ...
How To Name A Racehorse
31st Mar 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Following the recent scandal of President Trump’s name being changed to Fake News after the horse received just a little too much attention from the press (which offended some people), it seems like a good time to consider just ex ...
Scandalous Horse Names
29th Mar 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
We’ve all heard about the horse named President Trump by now, but his isn’t the first racehorse name to draw attention. The Jockey Club has banned many inappropriate names (most of which are too R-rated to appear here), and in fac ...
  View All News by Polo the Weirdo
 
Active News Discussions
What You Need to Know Before Giving Your Horse Away
2
comments
What You Need to Know Before Giving Your Horse Away
Horse Racing Not Just for Thoroughbreds
1
comments
Horse Racing Not Just for Thoroughbreds
Slim Chance of Horse Twins Surviving
1
comments
Slim Chance of Horse Twins Surviving
If Horses Were Feminists
12
comments
If Horses Were Feminists
Struggle And Defeat - Mohani's Story Comes To An End
25
comments
Struggle And Defeat - Mohani's Story Comes To An End
Race Horses With the Longest Careers
1
comments
Race Horses With the Longest Careers
Error 404 - Finances Not Found
1
comments
Error 404 - Finances Not Found
The Problems with Kitty Cats
1
comments
The Problems with Kitty Cats
Horse Show Riders Dismounted Based on Weight
6
comments
Horse Show Riders Dismounted Based on Weight
Where Kill Buyers Get Horses
1
comments
Where Kill Buyers Get Horses
 
©2002 - 2017   PonyBox LLC Create Account Terms & Conditions Privacy Contact Us
315 Members Online 236,642 Registered Members 2,283 News Articles 9,064,028 Unique News Article Views 194,774,874 Website Views