So you think that it's safe online? 2,219 views  •   2967 days ago
Cavallo Nero  MOD    •  8,242 career posts  
Think again.
Yeah yeah, you know, 12 year old Jenny might be 52 year old Brian, blah blah.

But I'll tell you about something which happened to me, and maybe make you realize,
this issue is very real.

I've been playing ponybox for quite a number of years now, and up until about 3 years ago
I had no friends on here whatsoever. In a bid to make people like me I offered free art
to anyone who wanted it, and it worked. I got myself a friend, but not just any friend
someone I got so close to, I classed her as my mother. I was going through rough times
at home, I was beginning to get seriously ill, I had no friends, I was pretty vulnerable.

This friend of mine told me that she was eighteen years old. She lived in New York,
had a partner called Dan who was twenty three and funnily enough, they were pretty well off.
She also had a little sister named Chloe who was fourteen who lived in England.
For around eighteen months, I talked to this girl every day for up to 18 hours a day, I also
talked to her partner the whole time too, who I developed an even closer bond with.
I didn't speak to her younger sister for quite a while, but eventually we did talk and
it was exactly the same, we were all so close. We stuck together through all the harships
we were all suffering with. Whether that be fragile mental health, or serious physical medical
conditions, we supported each other. Miscarriages, pregnancies, engagements, arguments,
you name it.

Never have I ever felt so loved and wanted, than when I talked to this group of people.

I even went as far to meet up with Chloe, who lived in England, since she was so lonely and
down. I did absolutely everything to make these people happy. I even put my own happiness
behind theirs.

After around two and a half years, the girl started to get quite angry at me, she'd snap at me
and confuse me. I didn't understand what I did wrong, but all I craved for was to feel loved,
and so each and every time I'd forgive her. I started seeing blips in her story and when I
questioned her she'd make me feel guilty and like I was the bad guy and she was the victim.

Eventually, this January I angered her so much that she never spoke to me again. I told her
outright that I knew she was lying to me and I knew that something she was telling me wasn't true.
It turned out that eighteen year old ______ and twenty three year old Dan were in fact just
fifteen year old Chloe.

Never have I ever felt so alone, so unloved, so lost and so hurt.
All day every day, I'd cry. It felt as though I'd lost the most important people I'd ever meet.
I questioned and doubted myself, constantly wondering if I'd possibly done something wrong.
If I was such a horrible friend that I didn't deserve even an explanation.
All that hurt from someone over the internet.

I still hurt now from it, eight months later, I still crave for him or her to
come online and talk to me. Every single night at ten o'clock, I can't help but think "what if".
You know what, it truly sucks. I hate the world for it, I'm bitter. The trust issues
I originally had are now so prominent I've almost forgotten how to make friends. I have such
bad social anxiety that I struggle to talk to anyone in public.
I distance myself from anyone I can and I keep such close small group of friends who I can
guarantee are real.

So why am I telling you this?
Because I don't want you to hurt the way I hurt every single day.
I don't want you to go through what I went through.

If something doesn't feel right, or you think someone is lying to you about something,
get as far away from them as you can. Don't stick around and get more attached.
They'll only continue lying until it spirals so out of control that they can't handle it anymore.

Don't be stupid like I was, you're worth more than that.

Be safe, ♥
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I truly value what you have shared with us here, and I hope the rest of ponybox values it too, and takes it on board.

Libertas Acres     •  24,023 career posts 2967 days ago

You and the rest of the girls have been amazing helping me get through it.
Cavallo Nero   MOD   •  8,243 career posts 2967 days ago
I was so lucky I found the friends I did.
Those sort of bonds are heartbreaking when they shatter.

I can't imagine the hurt you went through Cally.

Thank you so much for sharing.
Pyke Harbour Stables     •  33,544 career posts 2967 days ago
Try to remember that not all fish in the sea are sharks out for blood. ♥
That little girl was very mentally sick. She's going to either learn her wrongs the hard way, or ruin her own life.
Thank you so much for this. The Internet is a dangerous place, and I know that well, it's just awful to see people make the same mistakes as you.
Learn from others.
No Longer Really Here     •  9,598 career posts 2967 days ago
I have amazing friends now though. c':
I really couldn't have done it without them.

Yeah, it sucked. Thank heavens for friends and art!

You're welcome! It's really hard when you're in those situations, you don't realize
what they're doing. You're almost blind to the truth.
Cavallo Nero   MOD   •  8,246 career posts 2967 days ago
The girl in question is actually undergoing counselling for her actions.
I let one of her real life friends know what was going on and she told a teacher, and wala.

Naawson, you're a friendly shark.
Blood just isn't to your faultless taste. c;
Cavallo Nero   MOD   •  8,247 career posts 2967 days ago
It takes a lot of courage to share something so personal. So thank you for sharing this story and I hope that others on here learn from this. I think it is really important for people to understand, especially on here where there are many young players, that there are many people out there that will take advantage of you through the internet. I am sorry that this happened to you and I truly hope everyone learns from this.
Raintree Farm     •  1,733 career posts 2967 days ago
Have you ever seen Catfish, the movie? A little different, but pretty similar. Turns out the lady that pretended to be several different people just wanted a friend. And guess what, they actually ended up being very good friends. There were some major health issues mixed in. You'd really have to see it for yourself. It's pretty good!

I actually know how this feels. And it happens, I suppose. Sometimes it's an unsafe situation, sometimes they just need someone to make them feel loved.
Tripp International     •  15,484 career posts 2967 days ago
It's pretty scary what people can do on the internet, and also how people can fall for their deceiving lies. I'm sorry that happened to you, I hope you'll eventually be okay from it.

Do you ever talk to that girl anymore?
Indian Creek Stables     •  5,010 career posts 2967 days ago
Ohh gosh, its horrid :(

Im always careful about who i become friends with, and its a shame others arnt, I know lots of horror stories about people and online but they arnt suitable

But i really feel for you :(
Kaylied Estal      •  2,022 career posts 2967 days ago
Wow thank you for sharing, I cannot possible imagine what that must be like.
I'm glad that more people are being made aware of this, it's out there and dangerous.

♥ lots of love for you Cavallo Nero.
Bourassa     •  23 career posts 2967 days ago
RF ; You're welcome. c:
Exactly why I posted this. Thank you for seeing things like that!

Tripp ; I haven't seen the movie, but I have seen the tv show. Before I'd seen the show
I'd done pretty much everything they do by myself to check up on her and nothing added up,
hence why I felt confident enough to confront her.

ICS ; Thank you, me too. I think I know what it would take to not feel like that,
but I can't really share that right now. c: Apologies.
I do yes, actually. She messaged me a couple of days ago apologizing, which was nice.
She seems to want to be friends and go back to normal, but since my trust has been
demolished I'm really not sure what to do. I feel really uncomfortable with it
and I would hate for it to dishonor my friends since they've worked so hard
to help me through it.

Sandly ; It is indeed. :c

Baya ; You don't want to know. c: Yeah, I've noticed a stupid amount of people sharing
very very private details with people that they really shouldn't. Especially on
join me's.
Cavallo Nero   MOD   •  8,248 career posts 2967 days ago
Also. If you ever decide to meet with someone in real life that you met online (because I know for some of you it will happen no matter if someone says not to), please:

1. Be an adult or have your parents permission/physically there with you.
2. Skype with them or something, so you can already see what they look like and if they've been lying about their appearance.
I personally wouldn't meet someone I hadn't Skyped with. It makes it 'harder' for them to lie.*
3. Meet in a public place, preferably with people actively in it. Like a mall.
4. Try to have been actively talking with them for quite a long time. Years is really ideal.
5. Realize that they may have lied to you about many things. Hopefully this isn't the case, but... Welcome to the Internet.

**HUGE red flag if they, over a period of time, continually make up excuses as to why they can't.

This even goes for any PB Meet Ups.
If this is happening outside of PB with other Internet people, I caution you to be very careful.
While PB isn't 100% full-proof, I do feel it is somewhat safer than other sites.

Take care of yourself.
No Longer Really Here     •  9,602 career posts 2967 days ago
The series is good too, but the movie itself actually made me cry.
Tripp International     •  15,485 career posts 2967 days ago
You don't have to share anything with me, no worries(:

I kind of think it's good that you talk to her. I find closure is really important in coping with something. In my advice, maybe you shouldn't be friends quite yet but talking couldn't hurt. Maybe it could help the both of you (:
Indian Creek Stables     •  5,014 career posts 2967 days ago
Cavallo -
That's just scary. Seriously, worst case scenario is predator, and best case is someone you met over the internet.
Either way, not a place to share personal details. It makes me want to be extra careful.

keepin' the world a slightly safer place one post at a time :)
Bourassa     •  25 career posts 2967 days ago
This is an absolute great post with an even greater message! Everyone should be cautious about what they say online. You can't see people face to face and you cant take everyone's word for granted! It is sad however that the world must be cautious with these things and that some people would feel the need to deceive others! This is a heartfelt story that we should all learn from! I'm so sorry Cally that this happened to you and you had to be an example for others, but thanks for reminding and educating all of us about the danger of the internet!!!
Twin Empire Equestrian     •  1,675 career posts 2967 days ago
I find a really good way to determine people is to have them on Facebook/skype/twitter/tumblr.
I know it doesn't work for everyone, but often they're tagged in posts and photos by friends and their interactions with friends.
Things like that can tell you a lot about a person, I don't mean stalk them but don't be scared to check their photos and things out.

I know I personally am far too open about myself and I wear my heart on my sleeve.
That's just how I am, I like to make other people feel comfortable and I openly mock myself.
I get very emotionally invested in people and rely a lot on other people when it comes to my own worth.
Hm. I think that's just something I do. When the bonds I make with people seem to fizzle out I get really upset and it's usually not a good time to be around me at all. I get very lonely a lot of the time because I feel like people don't often want anything to do with me.

Tripp; Catch Me If You Can is pretty interesting too. Frank Abagnale Jr, the boy who lived different lives wherever he went. There's an eventual happy ending, he became friends with the FBI agent who was tracking him I think.
The film has Leonardo DiCaprio in it and the musical is pretty good too.
Pyke Harbour Stables     •  33,549 career posts 2967 days ago
That's cool, I'll have to check it out! Ohh, Leonardo DiCaprio, now I HAVE to watch it.
Tripp International     •  15,486 career posts 2967 days ago
Well, I know these feels.

Thank you for sharing Calls. I feel so sorry for ever being mean/snarky/down right rude to you as I know how hurtful words from "just someone over the internet" can truly be. And I am sorry to hear you ended up being hurt by someone you truly cared about D:
ravin     •  9,305 career posts 2967 days ago
Speaking as someone who has also had a super close friend on PB who then turned out to be a liar, I can say that I feel your pain. But it's okay, because there are actually a handful of decent people on here and we love you :3
Valkyrie    MOD   •  3,236 career posts 2967 days ago
*hugs Cally*

You're so brave for sharing this love. I'm always still here if you need to talk, know that. No matter how busy my life is, it will not be too busy for you okay?
*moar hugs*

LS Blue Haven Estate     •  26,491 career posts 2967 days ago
*sneaks in and hugs Cally tightly*
Santa Ana Ranch   MOD   •  29,003 career posts 2967 days ago
Good post. Their was just a young girl from my state sadly she lost her life, by someone she met on Facebook. No where's safe on the Internet never give any personal details.
Kyra Stables      •  10,461 career posts 2967 days ago
Sorry that happened to you. I've been fortunate enough to have made many good friends online, all of whom are legit. My best friend has been in my life for almost 8 years now, and we met on an MMORPG.
Wycca     •  9,631 career posts 2967 days ago
Boy this is gonna take a while.
So overwhelmed at the response this has gotten!

Nocte; well said bby. ♥

Tripp; I shall have to watch it then!

Indii; I can see your point. c:

Baya; Definitely! I'm glad it makes you feel that way.

TEE; You're most welcome. I felt it was needed. x3

Cee; Absolutely. All my close friends on ponybox are my friends on facebook.
In fact, I talk to them MORE on facebook than ponybox.
That's exactly why I got hurt. I care to much about others and I, like you said,
wear my heart on my sleeve.
That's pretty much exactly how I am. I get very attached to people and I panic
if we even drift apart slightly. I'm very clingy, it's a bad habit.

Allyyy; Sucks doesn't it? D: And you're welcome! Aww, don't worry. We've been getting on
lately anyhow. :D And yeaaah. :c

Kendall; I love you all too. ♥

24601; Ahh so lucky! I've only had this one mishap. Sure, I've had other people lie to me,
but not like this. c: I bet you value your friend so much! I know I would.

Kyra; I wasn't aware of this. That's so so sad. :c

Bonnieee; Great Aunt Bon Bon. ♥ *hugs*

Cheddarrrrr; Thank you! Thank you so much, I know. c': *hugs*
Cavallo Nero   MOD   •  8,251 career posts 2966 days ago
Great post, its good to know that some people out here are smart and want to help. this happens online all the time, though ive never heard of it happening on ponybox before. thank you for posting!!!
Stony Creek Stables     •  7 career posts 2966 days ago
I had nearly the same thing happen to me.
A player pretended to be a "he" and pretended to like me.
I was 12 and niave, and I thought we were dating.

Long story short, it was really a female player who just didn't like me.
a r i s t a     •  6,647 career posts 2966 days ago
Have had this happen to me before too on PB, when I first started and was about 12/13.

I twigged and was wary of them when I found out, but I enjoyed the friendship so much I carried on talking to them despite the fact I was pretty sure the "character" they created to talk to me wasn't real.

Definitely feel for you. There's a LOT of people that lie about who they are on PB, not so much now, but there still is. A few years ago it was rife, lots of girls pretending to be boys.
Bramble Wood Lodge     •  9,794 career posts 2966 days ago
wow... I've missed so much :/
I'm sorry I wasn't able to be there for you Cally...
It hurts me more then you know.
just know that I am here for you no matter what!
things like this are so hard...
reasons why I aswell have trust issues... haha
trust is something to be earned not just handed out like cookies
love you!
I hope you're doing better! we must catch up soon! ♥
Reminiscent Stable     •  7,340 career posts 2966 days ago
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