Items

Forums
How to Comment on a Ponybox News Article
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   22nd Sep 2010   •   8,019 views   •   33 comments
In this article, I shall be teaching you how to comment on a Ponybox.com news article in accordance to Jeff’s new commenting policy. As you all know, independent thinking is no longer allowed on Ponybox, and is considered to be unacceptable behavior! Here are a few hints and guidelines that I hope you will find helpful in complying with this rule.

How to Comment on a Ponybox News Article

Hint 1
Two heads are better than one. Borrow somebody else’s brain, and your thoughts will no longer be independent. Thus, you shall not be violating the independent thinking rule, though you must exercise caution when attempting to acquire your second brain, since decapitation is frowned upon in most modern day societies. I would personally recommend using food bribery to convince your chosen victim to lend you their brain, though be wary, since bribery can sometimes invoke hostile reactions. As such, I advise you to use REALLY good food when bribing your victim.

Hint 2
Avoid all contact with Salmon fish. Unlike most fish, Salmon have an abnormal tendency to jump up waterfalls. This is considered to be going ‘against the flow’ and is likely to be a bad influence on any players hoping to avoid the sort of independent thinking which has been disallowed on Ponybox.

How to Comment on a Ponybox News Article
Salmon fish – Try to avoid these.

Hint 3
Be sure to think twice before typing. If it has been considered twice, your idea is no longer original, and is therefore less likely to violate the rules.

Hint 4
Don’t say anything unless somebody else has said it first. This is commonly known as the ‘parrot’ technique, and is highly effective in giving others the opinion that you are just a talking parrot on the shoulder of the person you are mimicking. Parrots are cute and feathery, so you are less likely to get into trouble if people think you are a parrot.

Hint 5
Be sure to become highly dependent on the people around you. Repeat their opinions diligently, but never state your own. This is likely to help you avoid violating the new rules, as one cannot be independent at the same time as being dependent. However, you must exercise caution, for if you become too dependent, then you will become unique in your degree of dependence. Uniqueness can lead to ‘independence’ and as we all know, independent thinking is a big no-no!

Hint 6
If you don’t have anything to say that hasn’t already been said, don’t say anything at all.

Hint 7
Going against the grain is not allowed. As such, if you wish to speak of something in a different direction to the direction of your grain, turn your block of wood around before saying it. That way the grain will be facing in the same direction as your opinion.

How to Comment on a Ponybox News Article
Block of wood – turn this before stating your opinion.

Hint 8
Silence is golden. Make sure you type any independent thought in gold – that way people will be less likely to notice your crime. Sneakiness is key!

Hint 9
Do not offend anybody. Everything you say must be an opinion shared with everybody in the world. This is not possible, but you’ll just have to do it anyway.

Hint 10
Always agree with the author, even when you don’t agree. Whatever the author of an article says, your opinion must be the same, however you may not lie, since lying is yet another big no-no. As such, if you author of the article likes cheese and you do not, then you will need to attend cheese appreciation classes before commenting. Be warned that it is unlikely that people will appreciate your efforts, so be sure to attend anger management classes as well, since showing frustration at the others’ lack of appreciation is likely to be considered rude, and rudeness is not tolerated under any circumstances.

Hint 11
Always be sincere, even when you don’t mean it. People appreciate sincerity, so you must give your honest opinion, even if it differs from their own, yet make sure you don’t disagree with them – this is a violation of the rules.

Hint 12
Make sure you know who you are. In his recent article, Jeff informed us that we all know who we are. As Jeff is an article author, you may not disagree with him. As such, any form of identity crisis is no longer allowed, since this will be considered a disagreement to an article author’s opinion – AKA: A no-no.

Hint 13
Lack of tolerance will not be tolerated. Intolerance of the opinions of others leads to disagreement, and disagreement is not allowed. Be tolerant, even if you can’t stand the person you are tolerating. Repeat: Intolerance will not be tolerated.

Hint 14
Make sure you’re always on your best behavior. Jeff told us to behave, and as we may not disagree with this statement, we must agree to behave. Misbehavior will not be tolerated. Make sure to consult a dictionary for the definition of misbehavior, since differing opinions on the definition of misbehavior can lead to disagreement, and disagreement is not allowed. All rebellion is strictly forbidden! If you attempt to rebel, your rebellious attempts will be considered disagreement, and will be met with rebellion, since disagreement, as I mentioned before, is a violation of the rules.

Hint 15
Dress up in a chicken suit. People will be less likely to take you seriously, and thus your comments will be less likely to be seen as rude.

How to Comment on a Ponybox News Article
Chicken suit – dress up in one of these.

Hint 16
Misinterpretation of sarcasm will not be tolerated under any circumstances! I strongly advise you to attend sarcasm appreciation classes if you are still taking this article seriously at this point. Sarcasm is REALLY difficult to understand, after all…

Well Ponybox, I hope that those hints will help you to comply effectively with our new commenting system. Please bear in mind that you are obligated to agree with every opinion stated in this article. Disagreement with the article author, myself, will not be tolerated. This is a big no-no.

Happy commenting, my newly enlightened readers. Stay out of trouble, now!

Horse News More In This Category:  General      Horse News More From This Author:  Polo the Weirdo
ImaCoolCowgirl  
lol.....I Will be sure to keep these in mind next time I read an article!
  Sep 22, 2010  •  3,016 views
 
Wanda  
ROFL! Polo I love this. This has to be your best article yet. And look I am not breaking any rules I completely agree with you on this one. Give me a computer High five.
  Sep 22, 2010  •  3,137 views
 
Painted Destiny  
I love the way you worded this and the pictures! I like the "parrot" one!!
  Sep 22, 2010  •  3,016 views
 
Avain  
Nice job!
  Sep 22, 2010  •  4,133 views
 
L u n a r  
Oh Polo, I do believe you have earned yourself a hug and a cookie *Hands cookie and gives hug* I really do agree with this article )
  Sep 22, 2010  •  4,025 views
 
weezapony  
Oh, Polo, I do believe you have earned yourself a hug and a cookie *Hands cookie and gives hug* I really do agree with this article.
(I am complying to the parrot rule, therefore not being independent, because independence and uniqueness are a BIG no-no.)
  Sep 22, 2010  •  4,007 views
 
Fourtrees  
Oh My Goodness. You are a genius. I will be sure to keep everything you have noted in mind while I am commenting.
*runs to get chicken suit and peice of wood*

After all, I can't dissagree with you.
  Sep 22, 2010  •  4,102 views
 
toffeelola  
this is a really cool article but I do hope people don't start dressing up as chickens but!
  Sep 22, 2010  •  4,030 views
 
No Walkin Farms9  
This is the funniest article I've ever read! Thanks for the laughs Polo!

I will be sure to follow all these hints so I don't break any of Jeff's rules. Starting with putting my salmon back where I got her. *Places Sally the Salmon back in the river* Bye Sally, I'll miss you!
  Sep 22, 2010  •  4,013 views
 
klb111  
haha! i love your articles Polo!
  Sep 22, 2010  •  4,410 views
 
EmeraldEagle  
This is awesome! Thank you for enlightening us & showing us how to do it the correct way. :D
  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,365 views
 
halfbrokehorses  
like your diagrams :)
  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,313 views
 
Valkyrie  MOD 
I think this is getting beyond the point of "silly" and into the realm of "immature". Just because one person didn't like negative comments doesn't mean we have to get like ... well ... this.

I admit it's genius, but all this hubbub is completely unnecessary. We're supposed to act mature.

:/
  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,267 views
 
Polo the Weirdo  MOD 
Thanks guys - glad you enjoyed it! :P I just couldn't resist... It was so tempting... Haha!
  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,880 views
 
Beeswax Crusade  
LOL! Love it! But...No more salmon? :( *sadness*
  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,918 views
 
Moody Farms  MOD 
Possibly the most informative article I've ever read. I did acquire a chicken suit but I accessorized it with a crown. I have decided I am queen of everything and as aforementioned you must all agree and treat me as such :}
  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,900 views
 
Finally There  
This was great!
  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,888 views
 
MardiGras  
LOL!! This has totally made my day! *runs off to buy chicken suit*
  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,884 views
 
Polo the Weirdo  MOD 
*bows* As you command, Queen Moody. :P *exits room backwards* Hehe! Great to see everybody getting those chicken suits. They really work - trust me! :P
  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,880 views
 
Snow Ridge  
Absolutly perfect! Best read Ive had in ages! Thanks for the smile!
  Sep 23, 2010  •  5,125 views
 
Kade  
Fantastic! I will keep it all in mind. I totally agree with everything and i too am off to get my chicken suit lol :)
  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,993 views
 
T E M P E S T  
Great job-it was really funny!
  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,920 views
 
Dixie Chick  
umm,does this mean we cant speak our mind?I dont really get it.but i do love the parrot" hint!
  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,905 views
 
Savitree Farm  
Hilarious! I was truly laughing out loud! You are a great writer (and I'm not just saying that because I have no choice but to bow down to your vast knowledge, under the new rules)!

I shall invest in some heavy-duty salmon repellent.
  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,938 views
 
Polo the Weirdo  MOD 
Dixie, I'm pretty sure it was all just a joke. :P Hehe!

Savitree: Naaaw, thanks! Haha! :P That is very nice of you! Good luck with the salmon repellent shopping - please let me know what brand you buy, since I'm considering getting some for myelf. :)
  Sep 24, 2010  •  3,970 views
 
Falling Up  
I have another hint for you:

Hint 7: This is the MOST important.
"No moving. No Smiling. No breathing."
-Julie, the movie Sleepover.

Best movie ever, very good.
  Sep 24, 2010  •  3,988 views
 
Dreamer100  
LOL! Good article, but funny at the same time! Thank you.
  Sep 24, 2010  •  4,394 views
 
Breegirly  
*Grabs Gorilla Suit* We can't rebel? *Picks Up Salmon and a pitchfork*
  Sep 25, 2010  •  3,977 views
 
Deshy  
Haha this is awesome hun :P
love it :D
  Sep 25, 2010  •  4,089 views
 
Deshy  
Haha this is awesome hun :Plove it :D
  Sep 25, 2010  •  4,089 views
  1  2    
 More News by Polo the Weirdo
Baby Horse Diaries - Sass Levels Reach All Time High
7th Jul 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
This is not fake news. Our sources have confirmed that Baby Niro displayed excessively high levels of sass recently when being ridden in the arena after a week off work. Witnesses report high levels of head tossing and neck flicki ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Starter Kit
16th Jun 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
So you just bought yourself a baby horse? I bet you’re wondering what you’ll need to help you in this new chapter of your life! Well never fear, Baby Horse Diaries is here to answer all of your questions. To create your own Baby H ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Playtime (AKA the Hunger Games)
9th Jun 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Baby horses, like most babies, are curious, energetic and playful beings that constantly seek out new means of entertainment. In fact, one of the most fun things about having a baby horse is all the wonderful new games that you ge ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Energy Levels
3rd Jun 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Here is my top 10 SECRET list of master plans for dealing with excess energy in horses. ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Baby Horses Are Stupid
26th May 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Baby horses are really neat. When you get them they are stupid. You know they’re stupid, any rational human being can expect them to be stupid, and they don’t know they’re stupid because they don’t know anything. Because they’re s ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Meet The Babies
19th May 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Today I would like to introduce the stars of our series, VanRee De Niro (Baby Niro), and Little Miss Sunshine (Baby Sunny). ...
Baby Horse Diaries Introduction
12th May 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Some of you might remember that about 8 years ago I created a series on Ponybox documenting my progress in retraining a young Thoroughbred racehorse, Moonfire, for his eventing career. Those of you who continued to follow my (admi ...
Among The Stars - Part 8 of 8
24th Mar 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
I wish I could say ‘time heals’, but it doesn’t. I still miss him every day. I still cry every time I look at his photos. Some days I’ll wake up and simply can’t face a world without him in it. I can’t leave my bed, because, what’ ...
  View All News by Polo the Weirdo
 
©2002 - 2019   PonyBox LLC Create Account Terms & Conditions Privacy Contact Us
437 Members Online 248,108 Registered Members 2,590 News Articles 10,894,376 Unique News Article Views 251,902,299 Website Views