How to Comment on a Ponybox News Article
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   22nd Sep 2010   •   8,284 views   •   33 comments
In this article, I shall be teaching you how to comment on a news article in accordance to Jeff’s new commenting policy. As you all know, independent thinking is no longer allowed on Ponybox, and is considered to be unacceptable behavior! Here are a few hints and guidelines that I hope you will find helpful in complying with this rule.

How to Comment on a Ponybox News Article

Hint 1
Two heads are better than one. Borrow somebody else’s brain, and your thoughts will no longer be independent. Thus, you shall not be violating the independent thinking rule, though you must exercise caution when attempting to acquire your second brain, since decapitation is frowned upon in most modern day societies. I would personally recommend using food bribery to convince your chosen victim to lend you their brain, though be wary, since bribery can sometimes invoke hostile reactions. As such, I advise you to use REALLY good food when bribing your victim.

Hint 2
Avoid all contact with Salmon fish. Unlike most fish, Salmon have an abnormal tendency to jump up waterfalls. This is considered to be going ‘against the flow’ and is likely to be a bad influence on any players hoping to avoid the sort of independent thinking which has been disallowed on Ponybox.

How to Comment on a Ponybox News Article
Salmon fish – Try to avoid these.

Hint 3
Be sure to think twice before typing. If it has been considered twice, your idea is no longer original, and is therefore less likely to violate the rules.

Hint 4
Don’t say anything unless somebody else has said it first. This is commonly known as the ‘parrot’ technique, and is highly effective in giving others the opinion that you are just a talking parrot on the shoulder of the person you are mimicking. Parrots are cute and feathery, so you are less likely to get into trouble if people think you are a parrot.

Hint 5
Be sure to become highly dependent on the people around you. Repeat their opinions diligently, but never state your own. This is likely to help you avoid violating the new rules, as one cannot be independent at the same time as being dependent. However, you must exercise caution, for if you become too dependent, then you will become unique in your degree of dependence. Uniqueness can lead to ‘independence’ and as we all know, independent thinking is a big no-no!

Hint 6
If you don’t have anything to say that hasn’t already been said, don’t say anything at all.

Hint 7
Going against the grain is not allowed. As such, if you wish to speak of something in a different direction to the direction of your grain, turn your block of wood around before saying it. That way the grain will be facing in the same direction as your opinion.

How to Comment on a Ponybox News Article
Block of wood – turn this before stating your opinion.

Hint 8
Silence is golden. Make sure you type any independent thought in gold – that way people will be less likely to notice your crime. Sneakiness is key!

Hint 9
Do not offend anybody. Everything you say must be an opinion shared with everybody in the world. This is not possible, but you’ll just have to do it anyway.

Hint 10
Always agree with the author, even when you don’t agree. Whatever the author of an article says, your opinion must be the same, however you may not lie, since lying is yet another big no-no. As such, if you author of the article likes cheese and you do not, then you will need to attend cheese appreciation classes before commenting. Be warned that it is unlikely that people will appreciate your efforts, so be sure to attend anger management classes as well, since showing frustration at the others’ lack of appreciation is likely to be considered rude, and rudeness is not tolerated under any circumstances.

Hint 11
Always be sincere, even when you don’t mean it. People appreciate sincerity, so you must give your honest opinion, even if it differs from their own, yet make sure you don’t disagree with them – this is a violation of the rules.

Hint 12
Make sure you know who you are. In his recent article, Jeff informed us that we all know who we are. As Jeff is an article author, you may not disagree with him. As such, any form of identity crisis is no longer allowed, since this will be considered a disagreement to an article author’s opinion – AKA: A no-no.

Hint 13
Lack of tolerance will not be tolerated. Intolerance of the opinions of others leads to disagreement, and disagreement is not allowed. Be tolerant, even if you can’t stand the person you are tolerating. Repeat: Intolerance will not be tolerated.

Hint 14
Make sure you’re always on your best behavior. Jeff told us to behave, and as we may not disagree with this statement, we must agree to behave. Misbehavior will not be tolerated. Make sure to consult a dictionary for the definition of misbehavior, since differing opinions on the definition of misbehavior can lead to disagreement, and disagreement is not allowed. All rebellion is strictly forbidden! If you attempt to rebel, your rebellious attempts will be considered disagreement, and will be met with rebellion, since disagreement, as I mentioned before, is a violation of the rules.

Hint 15
Dress up in a chicken suit. People will be less likely to take you seriously, and thus your comments will be less likely to be seen as rude.

How to Comment on a Ponybox News Article
Chicken suit – dress up in one of these.

Hint 16
Misinterpretation of sarcasm will not be tolerated under any circumstances! I strongly advise you to attend sarcasm appreciation classes if you are still taking this article seriously at this point. Sarcasm is REALLY difficult to understand, after all…

Well Ponybox, I hope that those hints will help you to comply effectively with our new commenting system. Please bear in mind that you are obligated to agree with every opinion stated in this article. Disagreement with the article author, myself, will not be tolerated. This is a big no-no.

Happy commenting, my newly enlightened readers. Stay out of trouble, now!

Horse News More In This Category:  General      Horse News More From This Author:  Polo the Weirdo
lol.....I Will be sure to keep these in mind next time I read an article!
  Sep 22, 2010  •  3,310 views
ROFL! Polo I love this. This has to be your best article yet. And look I am not breaking any rules I completely agree with you on this one. Give me a computer High five.
  Sep 22, 2010  •  3,431 views
Painted Destiny  
I love the way you worded this and the pictures! I like the "parrot" one!!
  Sep 22, 2010  •  3,310 views
Nice job!
  Sep 22, 2010  •  4,427 views
L u n a r  
Oh Polo, I do believe you have earned yourself a hug and a cookie *Hands cookie and gives hug* I really do agree with this article )
  Sep 22, 2010  •  4,319 views
Oh, Polo, I do believe you have earned yourself a hug and a cookie *Hands cookie and gives hug* I really do agree with this article.
(I am complying to the parrot rule, therefore not being independent, because independence and uniqueness are a BIG no-no.)
  Sep 22, 2010  •  4,301 views
Oh My Goodness. You are a genius. I will be sure to keep everything you have noted in mind while I am commenting.
*runs to get chicken suit and peice of wood*

After all, I can't dissagree with you.
  Sep 22, 2010  •  4,396 views
this is a really cool article but I do hope people don't start dressing up as chickens but!
  Sep 22, 2010  •  4,324 views
No Walkin Farms9  
This is the funniest article I've ever read! Thanks for the laughs Polo!

I will be sure to follow all these hints so I don't break any of Jeff's rules. Starting with putting my salmon back where I got her. *Places Sally the Salmon back in the river* Bye Sally, I'll miss you!
  Sep 22, 2010  •  4,307 views
haha! i love your articles Polo!
  Sep 22, 2010  •  4,704 views
This is awesome! Thank you for enlightening us & showing us how to do it the correct way. :D
  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,659 views
like your diagrams :)
  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,607 views
Valkyrie   MOD 
I think this is getting beyond the point of "silly" and into the realm of "immature". Just because one person didn't like negative comments doesn't mean we have to get like ... well ... this.

I admit it's genius, but all this hubbub is completely unnecessary. We're supposed to act mature.

  Sep 23, 2010  •  4,561 views
Polo the Weirdo  MOD 
Thanks guys - glad you enjoyed it! :P I just couldn't resist... It was so tempting... Haha!
  Sep 23, 2010  •  5,174 views
Beeswax Crusade  
LOL! Love it! But...No more salmon? :( *sadness*
  Sep 23, 2010  •  5,212 views
Moody Farms  MOD 
Possibly the most informative article I've ever read. I did acquire a chicken suit but I accessorized it with a crown. I have decided I am queen of everything and as aforementioned you must all agree and treat me as such :}
  Sep 23, 2010  •  5,194 views
Finally There  
This was great!
  Sep 23, 2010  •  5,182 views
LOL!! This has totally made my day! *runs off to buy chicken suit*
  Sep 23, 2010  •  5,178 views
Polo the Weirdo  MOD 
*bows* As you command, Queen Moody. :P *exits room backwards* Hehe! Great to see everybody getting those chicken suits. They really work - trust me! :P
  Sep 23, 2010  •  5,174 views
Snow Ridge  
Absolutly perfect! Best read Ive had in ages! Thanks for the smile!
  Sep 23, 2010  •  5,419 views
Fantastic! I will keep it all in mind. I totally agree with everything and i too am off to get my chicken suit lol :)
  Sep 23, 2010  •  5,287 views
T E M P E S T  
Great job-it was really funny!
  Sep 23, 2010  •  5,214 views
Dixie Chick  
umm,does this mean we cant speak our mind?I dont really get it.but i do love the parrot" hint!
  Sep 23, 2010  •  5,199 views
Savitree Farm  
Hilarious! I was truly laughing out loud! You are a great writer (and I'm not just saying that because I have no choice but to bow down to your vast knowledge, under the new rules)!

I shall invest in some heavy-duty salmon repellent.
  Sep 23, 2010  •  5,232 views
Polo the Weirdo  MOD 
Dixie, I'm pretty sure it was all just a joke. :P Hehe!

Savitree: Naaaw, thanks! Haha! :P That is very nice of you! Good luck with the salmon repellent shopping - please let me know what brand you buy, since I'm considering getting some for myelf. :)
  Sep 24, 2010  •  4,264 views
Falling Up  
I have another hint for you:

Hint 7: This is the MOST important.
"No moving. No Smiling. No breathing."
-Julie, the movie Sleepover.

Best movie ever, very good.
  Sep 24, 2010  •  4,282 views
LOL! Good article, but funny at the same time! Thank you.
  Sep 24, 2010  •  4,688 views
*Grabs Gorilla Suit* We can't rebel? *Picks Up Salmon and a pitchfork*
  Sep 25, 2010  •  4,271 views
Haha this is awesome hun :P
love it :D
  Sep 25, 2010  •  4,383 views
Haha this is awesome hun :Plove it :D
  Sep 25, 2010  •  4,383 views
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