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Five Very Good Reasons To Learn To Use English
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   7th Feb 2011   •   10,525 views   •   47 comments
 
Punctuation can save lives

Learn To Use EnglishExample 1
Lucy: "Shall we eat, Fred?"

Fred: "Sure, I’m starving!"

Example 2
Lucy: "Shall we eat Fred?"

Tom: "Sure, I’m starving!"

Jerry: "I’ll grab the spices!"

Cindy: "I’ll catch Fred!"

Fred: *Fred refused to take part in this act, since he feared it may have proved hazardous to his health.*

Chatspeak can lead to misunderstandings
 
Example 1
Learn To Use EnglishLucy: "Fred, what is the matter with you today?"

Fred: "IDK."

Lucy: *Gasps* "Internal Derangement of the Knee?! Oh my, that must be painful! Say, Fred, are you okay? Who is going to treat this?!"

Fred: "LOL!"

Lucy: "A little old lady? Why, Fred, are you sure that is wise? What if she has failing vision, or shaking hands?"

Fred: "…BRB."

Lucy: "Fred…? Fred? Fred, where are you?! Don’t do it, Fred! Don’t push the Big Red Button – I was kidding before, I’m sure the little old lady can get you through this! Don’t give up, Fred!"

Lucy: "..."

Lucy: "Fred…? Fred, hello…? Are you there?"

Grammatical errors can make for sticky situations
 
Learn To Use EnglishExample 1
Jerry: "Tom, you make me so angry! I’m going to throw you with a stone!"

Lucy: "Oh, I must see this! Jerry, are you sure you can throw Tom – AND a stone, no less?! Hold on, let me get my video camera…"

Tom: "Go on, Jerry! Throw me!" *Leaps into Jerry’s arms*

Jerry: "Ooof."

Stone: "Thank Heavens… I’m saved!"

Spelling and typing errors can make you look like a fool

The following errors actually appeared in real life situations.
Example 1
Mc Donald’s billboard:

"The restaurant administration is not responsible for the personal staff left unattended."

(That’s right, folks! Gandalf left that scary staff of his unattended in a Mc Donald’s, and it took to leaping up and attacking customers in his absence! Hence, Mc Donald’s had to put up this sign to make sure that they could not be held responsible for any damage done.)

Example 2
A protest board:

"Respect are country! Speak English!"

(I don’t know about you, but I had no idea that ‘Respect’ was a country. Wait… Come to think of it, even that doesn’t make sense. Fail.)

Example 3
An overweight man’s back tattoo:

"Your mine."

(I had no idea I owned a mine! Wow, how exciting! Do you think I should check to see if there is any gold left in it?! I’ll be rich – woohoo!)

Example 4
One of those big white words they paint on the roads:

"SHCOOL"

(Shhh, everybody! How cool is this road?! A moment of silence for its awesomeness, please…)

Example 5
A gravestone:

"One of the best of mother’s. May she rest in peace."

(I would make some sort of sarcastic remark about it… But I am too afraid that I might become Mother’s new ‘best’ work because of it…)

Everybody’s favourite reason to do anything: BECAUSE I SAID SO!
(And yes, the yelling was necessary.)

----

I hope all your brains are overflowing with this new knowledge, and that your enlightenment has brought you not only amusement, but motivation to improve your own language usage. Nobody can be perfect, of course. In fact, I daresay I made multiple errors in this article alone. But the bottom line is, if you at least make an effort to speak or type using comprehensible English...Then you will never fall victim to Polo’s sarcastic taunts.

I hope this will serve as motivation enough for most of you!

And on that note, I leave you.

-Polo the Weirdo – self-declared master of mockery.
Horse News More In This Category:  General      Horse News More From This Author:  Polo the Weirdo
Pintie  
Thank you Polo!! This needed to be said :D
  Feb 7, 2011  •  4,295 views
 
No Walkin Farms9  
ROFLMAO! Polo, this is hysterical! I love it! Well done. The stick people are great. And the mockery, just awesome.
  Feb 7, 2011  •  4,296 views
 
Finally There  
Oh my goodness. Okay, currently nothing is making me laugh. But this, Polo, is hysterical! I was like laughing to death (not literally). I couldn't stop laughing. I read this over and over and over again! Thank you so much Polo! I luffers you!!! *hugs*
  Feb 7, 2011  •  4,321 views
 
L u n a r  
SHCOOL!!!! haha Oh Polo I love your articles
  Feb 7, 2011  •  4,480 views
 
Painted Destiny  
Ahh... another one of polo's wonderful articles!! Might I ask, was "Example" supposed to be spelled Eample? :) Just wondering :D
  Feb 7, 2011  •  4,288 views
 
Wanderin Boy Memorial  
ROFL !!!
Polo you are too funny !
  Feb 7, 2011  •  4,298 views
 
Heaven Sent Creatures  MOD 
oh my that gave me such a chuckle, I've seen so many of these mistakes not only on pb but on facebook as well
  Feb 7, 2011  •  4,331 views
 
Dixie Chick  
Like Pintie said,"Thank you Polo!!" I love your ability to make real matters into a funny joke that actually gets a point across! Bravo!!! -claps-
  Feb 7, 2011  •  4,329 views
 
Seven Sins  
xD lol wow love the drawings great article
  Feb 8, 2011  •  4,322 views
 
weezapony  
hahahahahaha! Nice article! There are way too many grammar mistakes in the world. I don't know if it's true or not, but:
A text from a mother to her teenage daughter:
"your aunt has cancer
LOL, mom"
Apparently, she thought LOL meant "lots of love," and why would you pass on that information over text, anyway? -_-
  Feb 8, 2011  •  4,304 views
 
Balla Eclectic  MOD 
HaHa - very clever, especially the little diagrams.
  Feb 8, 2011  •  4,327 views
 
Mystic56  
That was very very funny :) You should check out engrish.com for more funny jokes. Lots of spelling and grammatical errors there.
  Feb 8, 2011  •  4,346 views
 
LightningP  
Very cute Polo. I also love the way that you illustrated your speak. I am all for proper English. The funny part is that when I read the title originally and seeing how this is a horse website...I was thinking English Riding, lol.
  Feb 8, 2011  •  4,383 views
 
Isadorable  
Great article polo!! :)
  Feb 8, 2011  •  4,314 views
 
City on the Hill  
Oh my gosh, I love your articles! This needed to be said, and I love the way you said it. :D
  Feb 8, 2011  •  4,495 views
 
Equestri  
Oh my gosh, Polo. You have me rolling on the floor after every article! xD
  Feb 8, 2011  •  4,336 views
 
Polo the Weirdo  MOD 
I'm very glad you guys enjoyed this! :D Thank you so much for your wonderful comments, I really appreciate them! ^_^
  Feb 8, 2011  •  5,180 views
 
Milly  
I love this so much!
Too funny and very well done :D
  Feb 8, 2011  •  4,465 views
 
King of Wings  
ROFL! great article
  Feb 8, 2011  •  5,233 views
 
T W I  
Hahahaha!
Amazing article and so true!
  Feb 8, 2011  •  5,202 views
 
Artista  
English IS important! Very clever article!
  Feb 8, 2011  •  5,186 views
 
JogRunJog  
Love the title! It made me laugh how you used "very good" instead of correct English witch would be excellent.
  Feb 8, 2011  •  5,388 views
 
T E M P E S T  
Great article!!
  Feb 8, 2011  •  5,241 views
 
Raychel  
That was so funny!... I love your articles. =)
  Feb 8, 2011  •  5,592 views
 
Dark Pride  
funny article.
  Feb 9, 2011  •  4,274 views
 
When She Cries  
Ahhh this was awesomely epic! No one will EVER forget this!
  Feb 9, 2011  •  4,428 views
 
Moody Farms  MOD 
All hail the master :}
  Feb 9, 2011  •  5,151 views
 
Simplicity  
This made me laugh well done
  Feb 9, 2011  •  4,843 views
 
Dark Pride  
lol, this is so funny yet soo true
  Feb 9, 2011  •  5,001 views
 
Madeirey  
It took me a while to get the first one but when I did.... Oh this is TO FUNNY!
  Feb 9, 2011  •  4,858 views
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