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Five Very Good Reasons To Learn To Use English
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Punctuation can save lives
 Example 1
Lucy: "Shall we eat, Fred?"
Fred: "Sure, I’m starving!"
Example 2
Lucy: "Shall we eat Fred?"
Tom: "Sure, I’m starving!"
Jerry: "I’ll grab the spices!"
Cindy: "I’ll catch Fred!"
Fred: *Fred refused to take part in this act, since he feared it may have proved hazardous to his health.*
Chatspeak can lead to misunderstandings
Example 1
 Lucy: "Fred, what is the matter with you today?"
Fred: "IDK."
Lucy: *Gasps* "Internal Derangement of the Knee?! Oh my, that must be painful! Say, Fred, are you okay? Who is going to treat this?!"
Fred: "LOL!"
Lucy: "A little old lady? Why, Fred, are you sure that is wise? What if she has failing vision, or shaking hands?"
Fred: "…BRB."
Lucy: "Fred…? Fred? Fred, where are you?! Don’t do it, Fred! Don’t push the Big Red Button – I was kidding before, I’m sure the little old lady can get you through this! Don’t give up, Fred!"
Lucy: "..."
Lucy: "Fred…? Fred, hello…? Are you there?"
Grammatical errors can make for sticky situations
 Example 1
Jerry: "Tom, you make me so angry! I’m going to throw you with a stone!"
Lucy: "Oh, I must see this! Jerry, are you sure you can throw Tom – AND a stone, no less?! Hold on, let me get my video camera…"
Tom: "Go on, Jerry! Throw me!" *Leaps into Jerry’s arms*
Jerry: "Ooof."
Stone: "Thank Heavens… I’m saved!"
Spelling and typing errors can make you look like a fool
The following errors actually appeared in real life situations.
Example 1
Mc Donald’s billboard:
"The restaurant administration is not responsible for the personal staff left unattended."
(That’s right, folks! Gandalf left that scary staff of his unattended in a Mc Donald’s, and it took to leaping up and attacking customers in his absence! Hence, Mc Donald’s had to put up this sign to make sure that they could not be held responsible for any damage done.)
Example 2
A protest board:
"Respect are country! Speak English!"
(I don’t know about you, but I had no idea that ‘Respect’ was a country. Wait… Come to think of it, even that doesn’t make sense. Fail.)
Example 3
An overweight man’s back tattoo:
"Your mine."
(I had no idea I owned a mine! Wow, how exciting! Do you think I should check to see if there is any gold left in it?! I’ll be rich – woohoo!)
Example 4
One of those big white words they paint on the roads:
"SHCOOL"
(Shhh, everybody! How cool is this road?! A moment of silence for its awesomeness, please…)
Example 5
A gravestone:
"One of the best of mother’s. May she rest in peace."
(I would make some sort of sarcastic remark about it… But I am too afraid that I might become Mother’s new ‘best’ work because of it…)
Everybody’s favourite reason to do anything: BECAUSE I SAID SO!
(And yes, the yelling was necessary.)
----
I hope all your brains are overflowing with this new knowledge, and that your enlightenment has brought you not only amusement, but motivation to improve your own language usage. Nobody can be perfect, of course. In fact, I daresay I made multiple errors in this article alone. But the bottom line is, if you at least make an effort to speak or type using comprehensible English...Then you will never fall victim to Polo’s sarcastic taunts.
I hope this will serve as motivation enough for most of you!
And on that note, I leave you.
-Polo the Weirdo – self-declared master of mockery. |
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Pintie
Thank you Polo!! This needed to be said :D
Thank you Polo!! This needed to be said :D
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Feb 7, 2011
• 5,497 views
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No Walkin Farms9
ROFLMAO! Polo, this is hysterical! I love it! Well done. The stick people are great. And the mockery, just awesome.
ROFLMAO! Polo, this is hysterical! I love it! Well done. The stick people are great. And the mockery, just awesome.
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Feb 7, 2011
• 5,498 views
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Finally There
Oh my goodness. Okay, currently nothing is making me laugh. But this, Polo, is hysterical! I was like laughing to death (not literally). I couldn't stop laughing. I read this over and over and over again! Thank you so much Polo! I luffers you!!! *hugs*
Oh my goodness. Okay, currently nothing is making me laugh. But this, Polo, is hysterical! I was like laughing to death (not literally). I couldn't stop laughing. I read this over and over and over again! Thank you so much Polo! I luffers you!!! *hugs*
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Feb 7, 2011
• 5,523 views
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L u n a r
SHCOOL!!!! haha Oh Polo I love your articles
SHCOOL!!!! haha Oh Polo I love your articles
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Feb 7, 2011
• 5,682 views
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Painted Destiny
Ahh... another one of polo's wonderful articles!! Might I ask, was "Example" supposed to be spelled Eample? :) Just wondering :D
Ahh... another one of polo's wonderful articles!! Might I ask, was "Example" supposed to be spelled Eample? :) Just wondering :D
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Feb 7, 2011
• 5,490 views
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Feb 7, 2011
• 5,500 views
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Heaven Sent Creatures
 MOD
oh my that gave me such a chuckle, I've seen so many of these mistakes not only on pb but on facebook as well
oh my that gave me such a chuckle, I've seen so many of these mistakes not only on pb but on facebook as well
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Feb 7, 2011
• 5,533 views
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Dixie Chick
Like Pintie said,"Thank you Polo!!" I love your ability to make real matters into a funny joke that actually gets a point across! Bravo!!! -claps-
Like Pintie said,"Thank you Polo!!" I love your ability to make real matters into a funny joke that actually gets a point across! Bravo!!! -claps-
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Feb 7, 2011
• 5,531 views
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Seven Sins
xD lol wow love the drawings great article
xD lol wow love the drawings great article
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Feb 8, 2011
• 5,524 views
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weezapony
hahahahahaha! Nice article! There are way too many grammar mistakes in the world. I don't know if it's true or not, but:
A text from a mother to her teenage daughter:
"your aunt has cancer
LOL, mom"
Apparently, she thought LOL meant "lots of love," and why would you pass on that information over text, anyway? -_-
hahahahahaha! Nice article! There are way too many grammar mistakes in the world. I don't know if it's true or not, but:
A text from a mother to her teenage daughter:
"your aunt has cancer
LOL, mom"
Apparently, she thought LOL meant "lots of love," and why would you pass on that information over text, anyway? -_-
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Feb 8, 2011
• 5,506 views
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Balla Eclectic
MOD
HaHa - very clever, especially the little diagrams.
HaHa - very clever, especially the little diagrams.
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Feb 8, 2011
• 5,529 views
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Mystic56
That was very very funny :) You should check out engrish.com for more funny jokes. Lots of spelling and grammatical errors there.
That was very very funny :) You should check out engrish.com for more funny jokes. Lots of spelling and grammatical errors there.
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Feb 8, 2011
• 5,548 views
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LightningP
Very cute Polo. I also love the way that you illustrated your speak. I am all for proper English. The funny part is that when I read the title originally and seeing how this is a horse website...I was thinking English Riding, lol.
Very cute Polo. I also love the way that you illustrated your speak. I am all for proper English. The funny part is that when I read the title originally and seeing how this is a horse website...I was thinking English Riding, lol.
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Feb 8, 2011
• 5,585 views
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Isadorable
Great article polo!! :)
Great article polo!! :)
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Feb 8, 2011
• 5,516 views
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City on the Hill
Oh my gosh, I love your articles! This needed to be said, and I love the way you said it. :D
Oh my gosh, I love your articles! This needed to be said, and I love the way you said it. :D
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Feb 8, 2011
• 5,697 views
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Equestri
Oh my gosh, Polo. You have me rolling on the floor after every article! xD
Oh my gosh, Polo. You have me rolling on the floor after every article! xD
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Feb 8, 2011
• 5,538 views
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Polo the Weirdo
MOD
I'm very glad you guys enjoyed this! :D Thank you so much for your wonderful comments, I really appreciate them! ^_^
I'm very glad you guys enjoyed this! :D Thank you so much for your wonderful comments, I really appreciate them! ^_^
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Feb 8, 2011
• 6,382 views
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Milly
I love this so much!
Too funny and very well done :D
I love this so much!
Too funny and very well done :D
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Feb 8, 2011
• 5,667 views
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Feb 8, 2011
• 6,435 views
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T W I
Hahahaha!
Amazing article and so true!
Hahahaha!
Amazing article and so true!
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Feb 8, 2011
• 6,404 views
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Artista
English IS important! Very clever article!
English IS important! Very clever article!
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Feb 8, 2011
• 6,388 views
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JogRunJog
Love the title! It made me laugh how you used "very good" instead of correct English witch would be excellent.
Love the title! It made me laugh how you used "very good" instead of correct English witch would be excellent.
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Feb 8, 2011
• 6,590 views
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Feb 8, 2011
• 6,443 views
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Raychel
That was so funny!... I love your articles. =)
That was so funny!... I love your articles. =)
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Feb 8, 2011
• 6,794 views
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Feb 9, 2011
• 5,476 views
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When She Cries
Ahhh this was awesomely epic! No one will EVER forget this!
Ahhh this was awesomely epic! No one will EVER forget this!
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Feb 9, 2011
• 5,630 views
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Moody Farms
MOD
All hail the master :}
All hail the master :}
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Feb 9, 2011
• 6,353 views
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Simplicity
This made me laugh well done
This made me laugh well done
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Feb 9, 2011
• 6,045 views
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Dark Pride
lol, this is so funny yet soo true
lol, this is so funny yet soo true
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Feb 9, 2011
• 6,203 views
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Madeirey
It took me a while to get the first one but when I did.... Oh this is TO FUNNY!
It took me a while to get the first one but when I did.... Oh this is TO FUNNY!
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Feb 9, 2011
• 6,060 views
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