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Five Very Good Reasons To Learn To Use English
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   7th Feb 2011   •   10,138 views   •   47 comments
 
Punctuation can save lives

Learn To Use EnglishExample 1
Lucy: "Shall we eat, Fred?"

Fred: "Sure, I’m starving!"

Example 2
Lucy: "Shall we eat Fred?"

Tom: "Sure, I’m starving!"

Jerry: "I’ll grab the spices!"

Cindy: "I’ll catch Fred!"

Fred: *Fred refused to take part in this act, since he feared it may have proved hazardous to his health.*

Chatspeak can lead to misunderstandings
 
Example 1
Learn To Use EnglishLucy: "Fred, what is the matter with you today?"

Fred: "IDK."

Lucy: *Gasps* "Internal Derangement of the Knee?! Oh my, that must be painful! Say, Fred, are you okay? Who is going to treat this?!"

Fred: "LOL!"

Lucy: "A little old lady? Why, Fred, are you sure that is wise? What if she has failing vision, or shaking hands?"

Fred: "…BRB."

Lucy: "Fred…? Fred? Fred, where are you?! Don’t do it, Fred! Don’t push the Big Red Button – I was kidding before, I’m sure the little old lady can get you through this! Don’t give up, Fred!"

Lucy: "..."

Lucy: "Fred…? Fred, hello…? Are you there?"

Grammatical errors can make for sticky situations
 
Learn To Use EnglishExample 1
Jerry: "Tom, you make me so angry! I’m going to throw you with a stone!"

Lucy: "Oh, I must see this! Jerry, are you sure you can throw Tom – AND a stone, no less?! Hold on, let me get my video camera…"

Tom: "Go on, Jerry! Throw me!" *Leaps into Jerry’s arms*

Jerry: "Ooof."

Stone: "Thank Heavens… I’m saved!"

Spelling and typing errors can make you look like a fool

The following errors actually appeared in real life situations.
Example 1
Mc Donald’s billboard:

"The restaurant administration is not responsible for the personal staff left unattended."

(That’s right, folks! Gandalf left that scary staff of his unattended in a Mc Donald’s, and it took to leaping up and attacking customers in his absence! Hence, Mc Donald’s had to put up this sign to make sure that they could not be held responsible for any damage done.)

Example 2
A protest board:

"Respect are country! Speak English!"

(I don’t know about you, but I had no idea that ‘Respect’ was a country. Wait… Come to think of it, even that doesn’t make sense. Fail.)

Example 3
An overweight man’s back tattoo:

"Your mine."

(I had no idea I owned a mine! Wow, how exciting! Do you think I should check to see if there is any gold left in it?! I’ll be rich – woohoo!)

Example 4
One of those big white words they paint on the roads:

"SHCOOL"

(Shhh, everybody! How cool is this road?! A moment of silence for its awesomeness, please…)

Example 5
A gravestone:

"One of the best of mother’s. May she rest in peace."

(I would make some sort of sarcastic remark about it… But I am too afraid that I might become Mother’s new ‘best’ work because of it…)

Everybody’s favourite reason to do anything: BECAUSE I SAID SO!
(And yes, the yelling was necessary.)

----

I hope all your brains are overflowing with this new knowledge, and that your enlightenment has brought you not only amusement, but motivation to improve your own language usage. Nobody can be perfect, of course. In fact, I daresay I made multiple errors in this article alone. But the bottom line is, if you at least make an effort to speak or type using comprehensible English...Then you will never fall victim to Polo’s sarcastic taunts.

I hope this will serve as motivation enough for most of you!

And on that note, I leave you.

-Polo the Weirdo – self-declared master of mockery.
Horse News More In This Category:  General      Horse News More From This Author:  Polo the Weirdo
Tilla  
*Presses Big Red Button* What will happen now?
  Feb 9, 2011  •  3,491 views
 
Run Free  
polo you have outdone yourself again you always tell us important things in hilarious ways i cant wait for your next artical
  Feb 10, 2011  •  3,293 views
 
Castaway Wish  
Wanna hear a huge fail? A anti-drug organization put 'DON"T DO DRUGS' on pencils, and gave the pencils to students. The students found out by sharpening the pencil, they could have, 'DO DRUGS', and 'DRUGS'. Talk about free advertising. But DO NOT DO DRUGS! They fry your brain. Literally.
  Feb 11, 2011  •  3,564 views
 
Inactive Member  
all i can say is : LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (little old lady)
  Feb 12, 2011  •  3,311 views
 
Spaztastic  
ROTFLSHIDMT (rolling on the floor laughing so hard i dropped my taco) this is the most funniest thing I've heard/read this year xD
  Feb 17, 2011  •  3,290 views
 
Little Bitty Farm  
I loved it!It made me lol! Great job!!!
  Feb 18, 2011  •  3,319 views
 
Soul Horse  
*claps* Yay! Someone who knows english! Thank you Polo!
  Feb 19, 2011  •  3,287 views
 
Labyrinth  
Love the pictures! Hahah!
  Feb 21, 2011  •  3,298 views
 
Estella Noire  
LOL! Love your articles soo much! This had me laughing :)
  Feb 22, 2011  •  3,287 views
 
MS Horses  
I love it! Great article!
  Feb 24, 2011  •  3,300 views
 
Fox Crest Stables  
The McDonalds personal staff comment/banner thing has nothing wrong with it. People who work at a place are called the staff. The banner was correct.
  Feb 26, 2011  •  3,559 views
 
scherzo  
I despise chat speak. Typos / mistakes I can understand - but I seriously get lost sometimes in chat-speak.
  Mar 5, 2011  •  3,297 views
 
bchia  
lol, this made me laugh.
  Mar 7, 2011  •  3,388 views
 
Arialr  
This is awesome. Love it.
  Jun 4, 2011  •  3,325 views
 
Deleted Accounts  
this is so funny, hehe!
  Apr 15, 2012  •  3,320 views
 
IggyPogo  
Self declared master of mockery. I admit, I lost it at that. You are truly one of a kind. XD
  Jun 18, 2012  •  3,280 views
 
Amelia1311  
i agree iggy and Polo, u r my fav ponybox writer
  Aug 8, 2013  •  2,786 views
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