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Surviving The Warm-up Arena
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Have you ever taken a moment at a show, to pause before entering the warm up? Do you ever look into that deadly hornets’ nest of an arena and think, "Holy doughnuts, I’m going to get crushed in there!"? If you haven’t – good for you – but those of us with any sense of self preservation whatsoever will certainly have experienced just how threatening a place the warm-up arena can be.
In the dictionary of Polo’s strange brain, a warm-up arena is defined in the following way:
Warm. Up. A·re·na / Noun
1. An unhappy place, packed chock-a-block full with savage riders sporting raised hackles, unsheathed claws, and bared teeth.
2. A terrifying place made for the sole purpose of allowing riders to threaten and intimidate one another in the traditional pre-competition ‘psyche up’ that has become a necessity in all sports in this day and age – since winning alone is no longer enough. Everybody wants to crush those who dare oppose him or her.
3. An exclusive place, for the sole use of the lucky survivors who wish to warm their horses up for competition.
Now that we know what a warm up arena is, let’s have a look at the classic warm-up arena hierarchy:
Those who have complete disregard for the hierarchy. (Usually pony riders)
Higher grade adult riders.
Lower grade adult riders.
Higher grade junior riders.
Lower grade junior riders.
Higher grade pony riders.
Lower grade pony riders.
Those too placid or polite to fight with tooth and nail for their warm-up arena rights.
So, when it comes down to it, there is no hierarchy. The ruler of the ring is simply the one with the sharpest tongue or the pushiest attitude.
We now have appropriate knowledge of what a warm-up arena is, and how it works – so next let us look at the wide variety of species that populate this deadly place.
The Shouters
Those who BELLOW at the top of their lungs to friends, instructors, or fence posts at the opposite end of the arena, thus blasting the ear drums of anybody in the nearby vicinity.
The Hit-And-Runners
Those who knock the warm-up jump, then gallop off before anybody can ask them to put it back up – leaving everybody else to do their chore for them.
The Policemen
Those who are determined to make sure that everybody in the arena follows every single rule or guideline perfectly – even if they don’t know the rulebook properly themselves. They often feign deafness and stupidity whenever somebody objects to their unreasonable ‘commands’.
Example1:
Policeman: "NO JUMPING WITH A DRESSAGE WHIP!"
Polo: "It’s the warm-up...I’m taking my jumping crop into the ring..."
Policeman: "NO JUMPING WITH A DRESSAGE WHIP!"
Polo: ... -_-
Example 2:
Policeman: "RIGHT SHOULDER TO RIGHT SHOULDER!"
Polo: "Um, no, they changed it – there’s a notice on the gate."
Policeman: "RIGHT SHOULDER TO RIGHT SHOULDER!"
Polo: ... -_- "It’s left-to-left…"
Policeman: "RIGHT SHOU-"
Polo: ... -______- *Rides off*
Example 3:
Policeman: "RED FLAG ON YOUR RIGHT!"
Polo: "RED FLAG ON YOUR RIGHT!"
Numerous onlookers: *Gasp* "That rider jumped the wrong way..."
Everybody: "RED FLAG ON YOUR RIGHT, DANGEROUS FOOL!"
*Everybody grabs torches and pitchforks to chase after rule-breaker*
(Bottom line: Guys... We do NOT do the warm-up jumps backwards...)
The Rebels
Those who hold a complete disregard for the rules, and like to pull stunts like jumping warm-up jumps the wrong way (-_-), riding dangerously close to everybody else’s horses, cutting into jumps in front of other riders who have already presented their horses to the jumps, etc. etc.
The Ignorant Squirts
Riders new to competing – often pony riders – who come across as rebels due to an innocent lack of knowledge. Usually end up being tackled and handcuffed by angry policemen.
The Gossipers
Those who spread vicious rumours – both true and untrue – about their competitors. Notorious for plotting friends against one another, and destroying the self-confidence of the soft-hearted.
The Know-It-Alls
Those who always want to tell everybody else what to do, because they think they know best.
The Attackers
Those who intentionally try to intimidate everybody else by riding threateningly close, hogging the warm-up jumps, and tongue-lashing anybody who knocks down the warm-up jump before they’ve even had a chance to put it up.
Example:
Attacker: "HEY! You knocked down the jump! You can’t just ride off, get back here!"
Polo: *Is still landing from jump* ... -_- "Give me a chance, sheesh..."
(Bottom line: Don’t knock the warm-up jumps. Or have somebody close at hand to pick up the pole for you before it even hits the ground, otherwise you will be skinned alive.)
The I’m-More-Important-Than-You-So-I-Matter-And-You-Don’t-ers
Those who ignore others, and refuse to apologize if they did something wrong.
Example 1:
Polo: "You knocked down the jump, and the rest of us still need to warm up...Won’t you pick it up?"
I’m-More-Impor- (You know what? Let’s call them the ‘Imps’)
Imp: (To self) "Is that rider really talking to me...? Seriously? How uncool..." *Rides off with hand hiding face*
Example 2:
*Imp’s horse lashes out at Polo’s horse and catches Polo in the leg*
Polo: "Oh my doughnuts, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?!"
Imp: "..." *Rides off*
Polo: -_- (To self) "I’ve got to stop apologizing for things that aren’t my fault"
(Bottom line: I beat that rider in both classes despite a bruised leg. Justice was served, Little Miss Imp! MWAhahaha- *Coughs* ...)
The Nice’uns
The perfect ones. Those who don’t really exist, yet who we all consider ourselves to be.
Bottom line: If you think you can deal with all these terrifying creatures, then you have mastered the arcane art of surviving the warm-up arena.
Congratulations, and happy competing!
Note: If this insulted you in any way whatsoever, deal with it.
One of The Nice’uns, Polo the Weirdo. |
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Painted Destiny
Loved it! Absolutely Amazing!
Loved it! Absolutely Amazing!
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Apr 9, 2011
• 8,401 views
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Soul Horse
I am so nervous I have seen the warm up arena.. what a dangerous place... I have never showed but I am this summer the first thing that came to my mind was... " Oh crud! I am going to die in the warm up arena before my class even begins!" I not that agressive, my instructor is always saying "be more agressive! Act like it's one of your sisters." I also ride with a girl who is a mixture of an Imp and attacker..
I am so nervous I have seen the warm up arena.. what a dangerous place... I have never showed but I am this summer the first thing that came to my mind was... " Oh crud! I am going to die in the warm up arena before my class even begins!" I not that agressive, my instructor is always saying "be more agressive! Act like it's one of your sisters." I also ride with a girl who is a mixture of an Imp and attacker..
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Apr 9, 2011
• 8,420 views
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Artista
Funniest article I've read in a while. You crack me up girl.
Funniest article I've read in a while. You crack me up girl.
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Apr 9, 2011
• 8,422 views
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T W I
I think I died laughing!
I think I died laughing!
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Apr 9, 2011
• 8,457 views
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Apr 9, 2011
• 8,413 views
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toffeelola
once again another smile-cracking news article from Polo bravo *claps* if I ever actually manage to get near a horse again I will be sure to follow your guidelines for the "warm-up arena" and Karma came back and bit that imp in the butt!
once again another smile-cracking news article from Polo bravo *claps* if I ever actually manage to get near a horse again I will be sure to follow your guidelines for the "warm-up arena" and Karma came back and bit that imp in the butt!
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Apr 9, 2011
• 8,424 views
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Madeirey
Wonderful Polo!!! Best work since the grammer newletter!!!!
Wonderful Polo!!! Best work since the grammer newletter!!!!
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Apr 9, 2011
• 8,396 views
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ImaCoolCowgirl
Fabulous!! I was showing with a friend of mine and as we were warming up some half crazy gaming horses came into the ring and rode the OPPOSITE way. The gameing horse bucked and reared it way around the ring until it almost hit my friend. Her horse reared and she fell off. She got back on and Placed in trail.
Fabulous!! I was showing with a friend of mine and as we were warming up some half crazy gaming horses came into the ring and rode the OPPOSITE way. The gameing horse bucked and reared it way around the ring until it almost hit my friend. Her horse reared and she fell off. She got back on and Placed in trail.
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Apr 9, 2011
• 10,440 views
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Emma Watson
Loved it! Absolutely Amazing!
Loved it! Absolutely Amazing!
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Apr 10, 2011
• 8,437 views
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Polo the Weirdo
MOD
I'm really glad this gave you all a laugh! :D If there's anything I can improve on, please do let me know! ^_^
I'm really glad this gave you all a laugh! :D If there's anything I can improve on, please do let me know! ^_^
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Apr 10, 2011
• 8,405 views
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Beeswax Crusade
I love your articles, Polo XD My horse hates the warm up arena, he pins his ears at anyone who gets too close... and usually I'm too late to the show to use it, so I end up warming up on a patch of grass nearby. Perfectly fine with me. I don't need to be skinned alive 0.0
I love your articles, Polo XD My horse hates the warm up arena, he pins his ears at anyone who gets too close... and usually I'm too late to the show to use it, so I end up warming up on a patch of grass nearby. Perfectly fine with me. I don't need to be skinned alive 0.0
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Apr 10, 2011
• 8,444 views
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Horses4Ever
Absolutly the warmup ring is the scariest place at a show. It makes the show ring seem like nothing. At pony finals there must have been about fifty (not exaderating) ponies in the warmup ring at once. Anouther group to look out for is the pack. The pack is a huge group of riders from the same giant stable who all ride in the same gate in on big bundel kind of like a biker gang, and it's always the pony riders. Every on has to move aside when the pack pony biker gang comes along!
Absolutly the warmup ring is the scariest place at a show. It makes the show ring seem like nothing. At pony finals there must have been about fifty (not exaderating) ponies in the warmup ring at once. Anouther group to look out for is the pack. The pack is a huge group of riders from the same giant stable who all ride in the same gate in on big bundel kind of like a biker gang, and it's always the pony riders. Every on has to move aside when the pack pony biker gang comes along!
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Apr 10, 2011
• 8,454 views
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No Walkin Farms9
Polo, you never cease to amaze me. This was hilarious. A great start to my day. Thanks. :)
Polo, you never cease to amaze me. This was hilarious. A great start to my day. Thanks. :)
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Apr 10, 2011
• 8,451 views
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Wanderin Boy Memorial
MOD
lol Great article Polo !
I have a show in 2 weeks and the warm up arena is the one that I worry about.
I'm one of the nice ones even though I will be riding a pony I'm not one of those ignorant squirts
xD
lol Great article Polo !
I have a show in 2 weeks and the warm up arena is the one that I worry about.
I'm one of the nice ones even though I will be riding a pony I'm not one of those ignorant squirts
xD
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Apr 10, 2011
• 8,452 views
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Cruisin Past Curfew
Hahaha I love this article :D Cute pictures too :D
Hahaha I love this article :D Cute pictures too :D
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Apr 10, 2011
• 8,419 views
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Raychel
That was great!... I absolutely love your articles, great job! =)
That was great!... I absolutely love your articles, great job! =)
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Apr 10, 2011
• 8,441 views
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Dark Star
Polo..l was laughing so hard at this..but these people do exist sadly
Polo..l was laughing so hard at this..but these people do exist sadly
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Apr 10, 2011
• 8,418 views
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Thestral
I like it! It both explains how rude people are, and what not to do in a warm up arena, but it is also humerous! Nice pictures by the way. i like the angry mob one best! :D
I like it! It both explains how rude people are, and what not to do in a warm up arena, but it is also humerous! Nice pictures by the way. i like the angry mob one best! :D
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Apr 10, 2011
• 8,685 views
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Apr 10, 2011
• 9,598 views
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Seven Sins
love the deion, great article
love the deion, great article
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Apr 10, 2011
• 9,568 views
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Falling Up
HAHA you had me smiling the whole time..
HAHA you had me smiling the whole time..
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Apr 10, 2011
• 9,584 views
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Candy99
I am a Nice'un. I loved all of your photos =) And I loved the whole article!!
I am a Nice'un. I loved all of your photos =) And I loved the whole article!!
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Apr 10, 2011
• 9,615 views
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Fantasy Farms
That was so funny! GOOD ARTICLE!
That was so funny! GOOD ARTICLE!
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Apr 10, 2011
• 9,851 views
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Labyrinth
I love your definition of the warm up ring! I've been to plenty of 4H shows and this article suits them perfectly. They finally built another larger warm up ring so they didn't have fifty horses in the 50x50 warm up ring! Plus the other 20 horse/riders standing on the rail watching the class that's in. All this complete with the odd 4H advisor or adult telling people nonstop to get out of the warm up ring. hahah
I love your definition of the warm up ring! I've been to plenty of 4H shows and this article suits them perfectly. They finally built another larger warm up ring so they didn't have fifty horses in the 50x50 warm up ring! Plus the other 20 horse/riders standing on the rail watching the class that's in. All this complete with the odd 4H advisor or adult telling people nonstop to get out of the warm up ring. hahah
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Apr 11, 2011
• 10,261 views
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Flying Change
Wow that's a lot and I love it
Wow that's a lot and I love it
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Apr 11, 2011
• 8,509 views
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Clair L
wow that sound like Kansas
wow that sound like Kansas
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Apr 11, 2011
• 8,513 views
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Apr 11, 2011
• 8,520 views
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Isadorable
Awesome article Polo! Nice drawings!!
Awesome article Polo! Nice drawings!!
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Apr 11, 2011
• 8,505 views
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MoMoz
Again, another hilarious article by Polo!!! hahahaha It is soo true though!!!
Again, another hilarious article by Polo!!! hahahaha It is soo true though!!!
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Apr 12, 2011
• 8,516 views
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Emmurr
haha, this is just awesome xD
haha, this is just awesome xD
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Apr 13, 2011
• 8,662 views
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