|
The Nature of the Not-So-Sane Show Rider
|
|
|
Anybody who has done showing must know that you can’t be completely sane to choose to wake up at 4AM, and work for a good three hours getting your horse to look its best for a few boring minutes, just so that somebody else can judge it. There is absolutely no chance that it is worth all the effort – but we do it anyway, because every show rider wants to be better than every other show rider. The following are some common behaviours of these fascinating people.
1. When your friends complain about getting up at 6AM for school, you scoff and walk away.
2. Your horse has more make-up than you do.
3. Your horse eats better than you do.
4. You are absolutely, completely convinced that judges were spawned on another planet and sent to earth for the sole purpose of ruining your life.
5. You judge your dog’s conformation.
6. If your horse gets a scratch, your mood will instantly become so terrifying that nobody will dare approach you for the rest of the day.
7. Every pair of pants you own has plaiting bands in the pocket.
8. You end up making up a new language by the time your tenth plaiting band breaks...
9. Mud is your worst enemy.
10. Your horse has a set of $200 tail extensions, but your own hair is full of hay.
11. You think that quick-drying hoof polish is the best thing since BEFORE sliced bread!
12. If your horse slobbers green gob all over your clean jacket, you shoot invisible laser beams from your eyes.
13. Your show jacket is professionally dry-cleaned on a regular basis, but your school blazer is tossed into the washing machine...
14. You understand the true purpose of Mr. Min better than anybody else.
15. You have an unhealthy obsession with baby wipes.
16. If your horse doesn’t win, regardless of the reason, it is the judge’s fault – and you vow that one day they will suffer for their mistake.
17. If you could, you’d wrap your entire horse in cotton wool.
18. You polish your tack every day, but there are cobwebs in your bedroom.
19. You have, at one stage, suffered a complete mental breakdown upon finding your clean horse all poo- and grass-stained the morning before a show.
20. Your horse’s shampoo is more expensive than yours. Sometimes you run out, and use it for yourself...
|
|
|
|
FreeRein
BEST ARTICLE EVER.
I absolutely love the cartoon at the end. And all of these are true! Haha. I use Mane & Tail shampoo sometimes to give my hair a fancy shine... it works too. 0.o
BEST ARTICLE EVER.
I absolutely love the cartoon at the end. And all of these are true! Haha. I use Mane & Tail shampoo sometimes to give my hair a fancy shine... it works too. 0.o
|
Jan 19, 2012
• 7,062 views
|
|
|
|
Dark Star
Show sheen works wonders on your hair too. haha.
SO TRUE!!! At one show, I was warming Archie up for halter, and he stepped on my boot, making me face plant into a mud puddle. -_- If looks could kill, the whole area would've been annihilated. haha.
Show sheen works wonders on your hair too. haha.
SO TRUE!!! At one show, I was warming Archie up for halter, and he stepped on my boot, making me face plant into a mud puddle. -_- If looks could kill, the whole area would've been annihilated. haha.
|
Jan 19, 2012
• 6,351 views
|
|
|
|
Cowzers
Lovely article as usual ! :)
But so true, so so true.
Lovely article as usual ! :)
But so true, so so true.
|
Jan 19, 2012
• 6,393 views
|
|
|
|
Raquel S
So So true, down to a T.
And free Rain you are not the only one, when I had blonde in my hair i used to occasionally wash it with the horses Glo- white shampoo aha.
So So true, down to a T.
And free Rain you are not the only one, when I had blonde in my hair i used to occasionally wash it with the horses Glo- white shampoo aha.
|
Jan 19, 2012
• 7,207 views
|
|
|
|
Cruisin Past Curfew
Lol XD I love this!
I can definatly relate to #1! Everyone at my school complains that they wake up at five! Heck! I wake up at 4 o'clock everyday!!! Two and three also. And I used to do number 5 when I was younger XD Number 12, definatly XD Also number 20. On number six, you better watch out!!!
Lol XD I love this!
I can definatly relate to #1! Everyone at my school complains that they wake up at five! Heck! I wake up at 4 o'clock everyday!!! Two and three also. And I used to do number 5 when I was younger XD Number 12, definatly XD Also number 20. On number six, you better watch out!!!
|
Jan 19, 2012
• 6,356 views
|
|
|
|
Madeirey
*starts so giggle* Oh Polo... I just LOVE your articles... *giggles harder* You should become a artist. That cartoon ROCKS! *laughs uncontrolabley and has a stroke*
*starts so giggle* Oh Polo... I just LOVE your articles... *giggles harder* You should become a artist. That cartoon ROCKS! *laughs uncontrolabley and has a stroke*
|
Jan 19, 2012
• 6,351 views
|
|
|
|
Painted Destiny
Love it! Even though I've never shown, I so see myself doing these if I could show (Not to say I don't do some of them anyways ^^) The cartoon is too cute!
Love it! Even though I've never shown, I so see myself doing these if I could show (Not to say I don't do some of them anyways ^^) The cartoon is too cute!
|
Jan 20, 2012
• 6,687 views
|
|
|
|
Equinest
I love 18 and 20! this artical is so funny :D and true :)
I love 18 and 20! this artical is so funny :D and true :)
|
Jan 20, 2012
• 6,709 views
|
|
|
|
Polo the Weirdo
MOD
Really glad to hear that you all enjoyed it!!! ^_^ Sorry I didn't reply to everybody - laziness is a curse... :P
Really glad to hear that you all enjoyed it!!! ^_^ Sorry I didn't reply to everybody - laziness is a curse... :P
|
Jan 20, 2012
• 6,688 views
|
|
|
|
Hikari
Hahaha its scary how true that is :L
Hahaha its scary how true that is :L
|
Jan 20, 2012
• 6,699 views
|
|
|
|
BarrelRacersLove
Number nineteen really is true! xP I always hate cleaning Rowdey so he is white-ish as he can be. Dx
Number nineteen really is true! xP I always hate cleaning Rowdey so he is white-ish as he can be. Dx
|
Jan 20, 2012
• 6,682 views
|
|
|
|
Emmurr
I've never actually showed, but this made me laugh my butt off xD
I've never actually showed, but this made me laugh my butt off xD
|
Jan 20, 2012
• 6,693 views
|
|
|
|
ImaCoolCowgirl
Gah...your style of writting is hysterical!! It reminds me so much of my uncle's....you both are incredibly talented and extremely funny. I can't wait to read more by you!! I hope someday you'll be writting for horse Magizines in the US :)
Gah...your style of writting is hysterical!! It reminds me so much of my uncle's....you both are incredibly talented and extremely funny. I can't wait to read more by you!! I hope someday you'll be writting for horse Magizines in the US :)
|
Jan 20, 2012
• 7,384 views
|
|
|
|
Whispyy
This is AMAZING! lol, I already relate to alot of this and i don't even have a horse.. yet! **Wonders what i will be like when i get on** Thank you polo!! *hugs*
This is AMAZING! lol, I already relate to alot of this and i don't even have a horse.. yet! **Wonders what i will be like when i get on** Thank you polo!! *hugs*
|
Jan 20, 2012
• 7,420 views
|
|
|
|
|
SatanicWhispers
omg soooo true, reading all of them im like yes i have done that!!!! what is a pain though is when banding, just easier to put them in your mouth is when you take a drink and dont have all the bands strategically placeed between your cheek and teeth O.o i so miss the good old days of showing.... i miss the good old days with horses as it is... but so awesome i agree!
omg soooo true, reading all of them im like yes i have done that!!!! what is a pain though is when banding, just easier to put them in your mouth is when you take a drink and dont have all the bands strategically placeed between your cheek and teeth O.o i so miss the good old days of showing.... i miss the good old days with horses as it is... but so awesome i agree!
|
Jan 20, 2012
• 7,467 views
|
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 20, 2012
• 7,430 views
|
|
|
|
Americano Freedom Stables
When you tell your boyfriend that you can not hang out friday or saturday because you need to groom your horse and have a show but they are welcome to muck stalls for you :)
love this :D
When you tell your boyfriend that you can not hang out friday or saturday because you need to groom your horse and have a show but they are welcome to muck stalls for you :)
love this :D
|
Jan 20, 2012
• 7,517 views
|
|
|
|
|
weezapony
Oh, Polo, you sure know how to make people laugh! XD Great article!
Oh, Polo, you sure know how to make people laugh! XD Great article!
|
Jan 21, 2012
• 7,402 views
|
|
|
|
|
abb77
great cartoon!
,7,8,1,9 is soo me lol
great cartoon!
,7,8,1,9 is soo me lol
|
Jan 21, 2012
• 7,411 views
|
|
|
|
|
Moose
I found this hilarious and completely, no doubt true! This is one reason why I stopped liking State 4H Horse Shows, because of frantic, dust collecting, obsessive, compulsive people like the ones you described in this article.
Well done with the article though, I love the illustration at the bottom. So realistic. Hahaha
I found this hilarious and completely, no doubt true! This is one reason why I stopped liking State 4H Horse Shows, because of frantic, dust collecting, obsessive, compulsive people like the ones you described in this article.
Well done with the article though, I love the illustration at the bottom. So realistic. Hahaha
|
Jan 21, 2012
• 7,395 views
|
|
|
|
Double Spur Ranch
Probably the most truest thing in the whole world even though I do western showing it is so true! haha love this article!
Probably the most truest thing in the whole world even though I do western showing it is so true! haha love this article!
|
Jan 22, 2012
• 7,400 views
|
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 22, 2012
• 7,426 views
|
|
|
|
|
Free Spirit Farm
Hahahaha! Thats pretty true! My sister sometimes uses show sheen to untangle her hair and my pony has more brushes, what-nots, and do-dids then me!
Hahahaha! Thats pretty true! My sister sometimes uses show sheen to untangle her hair and my pony has more brushes, what-nots, and do-dids then me!
|
Jan 27, 2012
• 7,516 views
|
|
|
|
|
abb77
18 all the way !
18 all the way !
|
Feb 4, 2012
• 7,414 views
|
|
|
|
Raychel
Hahaha, love this :)
Hahaha, love this :)
|
Feb 4, 2012
• 6,423 views
|
|
|
|
Diddy
LOL.
Love thiss :3
Agreed 100000000000000000000000000%!
LOL.
Love thiss :3
Agreed 100000000000000000000000000%!
|
Feb 8, 2012
• 6,304 views
|
|
|
|
|
Spaztastic
I love this article. xD xD xD
I love this article. xD xD xD
|
Feb 9, 2012
• 6,190 views
|
|
|
|
Deleted Accounts
ah this is so good, i am a really girly horse rider so quite a lot off those are not true for me but it was fun reading it and i know somebody who does generally fit every single one:D
ah this is so good, i am a really girly horse rider so quite a lot off those are not true for me but it was fun reading it and i know somebody who does generally fit every single one:D
|
Feb 15, 2012
• 6,175 views
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Apr 7, 2012
• 6,362 views
|
|
|
|
Vaulter101
So true! What does 6am have against 4? )
So true! What does 6am have against 4? )
|
Feb 15, 2013
• 6,319 views
|
|
|
|
|
More News by Polo the Weirdo
|
|
If you are lucky enough to afford an extremely expensive imported horse, it will spook at its own fart in the quarantine paddock and immediately sustain a career-ending injury. ...
|
|
Welcome to part 2 in our quest of finding the best gadgets and gimmicks that can actually help you to improve your riding! Put your body where it should be, and let your brain figure out how to keep it there. You’ll have that perf ...
|
|
Do you always find yourself riding with toes like a ballerina? Do you stare into your own lap as if the secrets of the universe are stitched into the crotch of your joddies? Do you ride with shoulders that would make the Hunchback ...
|
|
Gadgets often get a poor reputation in the equestrian world due to their misuse on equine athletes often resulting in harmful or abusive conditions. The debate on whether or not gadgets (like side reins, etc.) ought to be used on ...
|
|
The elongated shutdown of racing brings with it many great consequences, many of which are already beginning to show as owners, breeders and trainers alike are forced to begin euthanasia of horses they can no longer afford to keep ...
|
|
With the Covid-19 pandemic sweeping the globe, people the world over are doing exactly what one would expect modern man to do in a time of great crisis. They are binge-watching eccentric Netflix documentaries. The specific documen ...
|
|
With our current global pandemic, many equestrians the world over are suddenly being forced to face a horseless reality as entire nations enter lockdown. It is a miserable and testing time, but equestrians are tough. We’re gonna m ...
|
|
On the first day of lockdown, most of us sat in our homes. Silent, shellshocked, looking through old pictures of our horses and trying to come to terms with the fact that we had to be without them for 3 whole weeks. Worrying about ...
|
|
|
