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Not Making This Up - Why I Don't Wear Makeup To The Barn
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   8th May 2013   •   6,255 views   •   13 comments
I recently noticed this magnificent article pop up on Ponybox asking whether or not I wear makeup to the barn. I donít see that itís any of the articleís business, but Iím going to answer the question anyway. I do not, and in this article, Iím going to address exactly why.

Article: Do You Wear makeup To The Barn

First off, itís probably because I'm not much of a make-up person to begin with. If you see me out at the mall on a Saturday afternoon, Iím not that pretty little supermodel, done up to a tee, fluttering my eyelashes at all the boys. Iím that girl sitting on the fountain Ė no way my poor legs can hold me after a brutal day of competing - with muddy boots, my spurs still on, and my hair flattened by a sweaty helmet; basking in the judgmental stares that I receive in the same utter bliss that I hope to one day bask in the applause of the spectators as I fly around clear at Badminton. (Hey, a girl can dream. You pretty things can keep Justin Bieber Ė I just want my Badminton trophy.)

Not Making This Up - Why I Don't Wear Makeup To The Barn

While some girls are seen with their beautifully styled hair, name-brand clothes and flawless makeup at the stables, I'm usually that chick clinging to a rearing horse in her brother's hand-me-down 'Bad Boy' shirt, because:

A) I couldn't find any of my own clothes in the washing.
B) I'm probably going to end up covered in sand anyway.
C) Let's face it, hanging on to my rearing horse with my lack of make-up, I kind of look the part of a 'Bad Boy', don't I?

Now, if make-up could help me sit a buck or safely ride a mad horse around a course of big jumps, then maybe Iíd slap on a smidge, but the honest truth is: after Iím finished with my 6th difficult horse for the day, my face is so sweaty that if I had on even a drop of mascara, Iíd look like Alice Cooper. Not that Iím even a little bit ashamed of it, of course. That guy is a legend. But come on, Iím getting off track, and itís time now to revert to my original point: Why should one not wear make-up at the barn?

Sand. It gets everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. The more make-up you wear, the more it sticks, and the dirtier you get. Iíd rather be dirty without make-up than with it.

Horses. Maybe this oneís just me, but when I pitched up with make-up at the barn, my horses were far from impressed. In fact, Moo tried to eat my face. Serves me right for teaching my horse to kiss, sure, but hereís the thing: lip-gloss covered in horse hair does not make you any more attractive. It makes you look like a sasquatch. And to be honest, the lip-gloss did nothing for Mooís lips, either; never mind his ĎMoody mareí reputation. Yes, it seems my horse is a cross dresser.

Not Making This Up - Why I Don't Wear Makeup To The Barn

Horses. I felt that this point was worth repeating, because having tooth marks in a girlís foundation is not, and will never be, a new style. Unless Justin Bieber starts it; then itíll totally be a thing.

Unwanted attention. A dedicated rider doesn't have time for a boyfriend, silly girls! So instead of fluttering those mascara-ed lashes for an unnecessary distraction from your sport, just go home and Google some pictures of your beloved Justin Bieber. Or Alice Cooper, if thatís how you roll.

As mentioned in Saferaphusís article: Flies. Ladies, itís your face, not a cherry-flavoured insect buffet.

And on that note, dear readers, I leave you. Perhaps none the wiser than when we began, but hopefully, at the very least, somewhat entertained.

*Please note that no Justin Bieber fans or make-up wearers were hurt in the making of this article.
Horse News More In This Category:  General      Horse News More From This Author:  Polo the Weirdo
Madeirey  
Too true! Make-up... even the word should make you baulk in fear of it. "Make up". Think about it people. You are "making up" your face. Get it? Make up? Like how you "make up" a story. Same concept.
  May 8, 2013  •  7,433 views
 
Cansinady  
Love it and totally agree. I have put on mascara twice and my friends put smokey-eye makeup on me once but that is the limit of my makeup "career."
  May 8, 2013  •  7,442 views
 
Soul Horse  
Haha I am a lot like you same views and everything. I never wear make up not even nail polish. Always on the crazy horses too.
  May 8, 2013  •  7,275 views
 
NorthernNinja  
Some of you might see this as a childish argument, but I would mainly like to regard this as a friendly rebuttal.

I would like to start with the fact that many of the people you see wearing make-up to the barn have probably just returned from school, where they wear it without having to worry about dirt, horses, and the like. It isn't easy to remove makeup on-the-go, so why even worry about it? For an example, I usually come to the barn straight from school, so I ride with make-up. No, it doesn't make me a better rider, but it also doesn't mean that I'm trying to be a super model and flirt with every boy I see.

Also, I am a firm believer in looking clean and "dressing for the job". Is it really a crime to put on a little make-up when you go the barn to give off a well-groomed impression? Wearing make-up isn't just a thing that girls use to flirt with boys. It gives off a look that suggests you like to make yourself decent in public. Not that people who don't wear make-up don't lo
  May 8, 2013  •  7,767 views
 
Kaori  
Hahaa, I love this xD
I must admit to being a make-up wearer...I'm a very self-conscious teenager, I can't go out barefaced :D
  May 9, 2013  •  7,344 views
 
Dashwood  
This is brilliant! I love this. :D
The only time I'll wear make-up to the barn is if I wore it at some point during the day. :P
I love the bit about your Badminton trophy!! I'm with you their, just not Badminton, maybe Olympia... :P
  May 9, 2013  •  7,447 views
 
Copper711  
Ha ha, you go girl!! Lets make like a fan club for Polo and her awesome and funny articals!!I with you polo we dont need to be fluttering eyelashes in front of boys, we have horsesXD
  May 9, 2013  •  7,397 views
 
OklahomaBlessing  
I wear make up, but this is still made me laught. :-)
  May 9, 2013  •  7,345 views
 
Cruisin Past Curfew  
I only wear makeup to the barn on school days because I have no time to take it off. My riding lessons are after school. And besides, I only wear eye liner and mascara, nothin' heavy :P I don't care if I get dirty. That's part of the job, eh? For me, my make-up never gets in the way of my riding. And it never will. I choose horses over make-up any day. But some people want to look their best. Horseback riding is a job. A lot of people want to get dressed up for it (some more than others). Sure there can be casual days, but dressing up is showing some respect :) I never had a problem with horses or sand. And believe me, the sand one I can tell 'ya. I live in Southern California where we have nothing but sand. People can still look like dare devils while they are on a cray-cray rearing horse. I ride a fast a furious pony named Nemo, and I am still rocking that dare devil look no matter how I look, mmmmhmmm :P

But that is just my opinion :)
  May 9, 2013  •  7,398 views
 
Winniefield Park  
cherry-flavoured insect buffet-lol! love it
  Jun 2, 2013  •  7,593 views
 
Hems Foresters  
Love this :)
  Apr 7, 2014  •  6,114 views
 
ally12  
Haha, love this! :D
  Apr 7, 2014  •  6,146 views
 
Polo the Weirdo  MOD 
Man, I'd forgotten about this article! :) Throw back Tuesday, anyone? Have a read, have a laugh.
  Apr 8, 2014  •  6,146 views
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