Still Burning - Chapter Twelve - The First Step
 By Moose   •   13th May 2013   •   2,413 views   •   9 comments
Horse Story - Still Burning

The smell of meatloaf and apple crisp seeped out of the open windows and mixed to fill her nose with its sweet aroma, making her stomach growl. Jane twirled a tiny purple flower between her fingertips, watching its petals spin like a dancer’s skirt. She picked the petals from it and tossed it to the ground as she stood. The cool air washed over her as she opened the screen door and stepped inside the house for dinner.

The way Jane moved about was somewhat sad. The brightness in her sparkling blue eyes had vanished behind a dull cloud of depression. The usual spring in her step was no longer there, replaced by a lazy, weak swaying as she dragged each foot forward reluctantly. The silence that followed her entrance was strange, as if her voice was expected, almost anticipated. Her parents were so used to hearing her warm, melodic voice that had the ability of instantly brightening a room. But she didn't say a word that day. Her attentive being, the upbeat way about her, and her curious nature was gone. She had been like this since they took her home two weeks ago.

She had lost her reason to smile or laugh or simply move. What reason did she have? There was no bringing herself to do anything. For what was the point? She couldn't find the motivation it had left her along with Andrew and everything she loved.

Liam looked across the room at the empty body that used to belong to the once extraordinarily happy girl. It destroyed him to watch her maunder about with her expression lost in ongoing misery. He watched her sink down into the chair where she usually sat and fold her hands in prayer.

Will began, “Come Lord Jesus and be our guest. Please let these gifts to us be blessed. Amen.”

After each person said their amen’s, the room fell silent once again. And that was how it was. Not a word was said besides the occasional, “Please pass the...”
Jane stared at the food on her plate and once again, she hardly ate. She felt no need to, being she hadn't used any of her energy.

“You have therapy tomorrow morning.” Her father said, breaking the silence.

Jane looked up at her father and for the first time, she showed emotion. Disgust. “I don’t need therapy.”

Before her father could argue with her, Elise stopped him with tears in her eyes. “Jane, you need to talk to someone about this. We can’t pretend this never happened.”

“I can.” She breathed as she stood and dismissed herself to her room. She could hear her mother sobbing softly before she shut her door.

Once in her room, Jane looked to the window. Brilliant, luminous, dazzling light glared at her through the white curtains. And then she thought. How could the world be so happy? Shouldn't the entire world recognize her loss? How could it just go on like nothing had happened? She had expected it to be dull, gloomy, and lifeless because she was sad. But it was not, it seemed as though the sun was almost happier than usual. It taunted her with its lustrous beauty that burned through her window in the form of rays.

Jane hated it. She hated that everything could just go on living. She wanted some form of recognition, some form of acknowledgment of her grief. Why was the world so cruel? In its incredible selfishness, it had sucked every ounce of light from Jane’s life. Every source of her happiness was now gone. This world was ravenous and brutal and cruel. It had not left her even one reason to smile, not one thing to make her happy. She felt abandoned. How could he just leave her behind like this? Why? She felt so empty as Jane lay down on her bed and pressed her face into the pillow. All other thoughts cleared and she was left with just one thing on her mind... What now?

“Hello Jane, my name is Dr. Clark. I’m very happy to see you this morning.” Somehow Jane found herself sitting on a cliché couch in a therapist’s office, staring at a cat clock that didn't seem to move fast enough. She wasn't required to say anything, as long as she stayed in the room for a full hour. If there was one thing her father had taught her, it was how to be stubborn.

“Jane?” her voice was low and soft, but still it made her cringe, “I can’t help you if you don’t cooperate.”

Jane sighed and forced herself to look at the woman in the chair beside her. She fixed her eyes on her dark red nails, each one clean and rounded in such a perfect way that it looked identical to the others. A disgusted feeling filled her stomach. Then she remembered the second she saw Andrew, she had felt this same feeling. She could almost see his clean Converse tennis shoes and dark blue jeans. She remembered the way he stuck one hand in his pocket and leaned against the doorway. She followed his long slender body up to his face and saw him smile at her. Her heart began to feel warm and excited, just like it did every time she saw him.


Jane nodded and looked up at her.

“Alright, let’s start.” She folded her hands and crossed one leg over the other.

“Tell me about Andrew.”

Even the sound of his name tugged at her heart. She began to feel the familiar feeling slowly beginning to take over her heart and swell in her throat. It was starting again. This time, she could control it. She knew this was going to be a struggle, but she had to start somewhere... Everything must begin with the first step. So Jane began. “Andrew’s middle name was Alexander.”
this is just so sad... poor Jane. be strong girl!
  May 13, 2013  •  2,740 views
So Andrew died?
  May 13, 2013  •  3,239 views
Rats! I thought Andrew was going to magically come back. Or someone would yell "Surprise! That was all a terrible joke!". Sad sad.
  May 13, 2013  •  3,009 views
Sapphire Flames  
Aww...this story is still amazing, even though it has a sad ending!! Thanks for this moose! :) *hugs*
  May 13, 2013  •  3,215 views
Foxchase Farm  
Awh Andrew... :'(
  May 13, 2013  •  3,043 views
Faith forever  
Moose!!! Why!? I loved Andrew! I told my mom about it and her response was "who in the world is Andrew!?" *runs away crying*
  May 13, 2013  •  2,952 views
I hate you. -_- so. much.
  May 14, 2013  •  3,422 views
Poor Andrew! Poor Jane! Everything is just so sad.. great story.. tragic ending. Most great stories do have sad endings, though. But thanks anyways Moose!
  May 14, 2013  •  2,742 views
OMG I cant belive I couldnt read this and comment sooner, sorry:|

Life is so crull, now I am feeling depressed.... Why. did. he.have. to. die?????
  May 15, 2013  •  2,642 views
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