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The Gross Things Horses Do
 By Winniefield Park   •   5th Aug 2013   •   8,250 views   •   0 comments
The Gross Things Horses Do

Horses are elegant, noble, lovely creatures, celebrated in song and story. That is, until they do something indisputably inelegant, ignoble and un-lovely. Because sometimes, horses can be downright gross.

Gas Generation
Horses are gas making machines. Thereís something about digesting all that fiber that produces a lot of gas. And, thereís something about brushing a horseís tail or lifting a hind hoof to clean it, that makes a horse expel those noxious fumes. For some reason, as inoffensive as actual horse manure is, these fumes can leave you gagging and coughing. It always happens when youíre in very close range. Itís difficult to say why this happens and perhaps some day someone will research the phenomenon and solve the mystery. It probably has something to do with some sort of lever that exists in the tail and hind legs that opens the noxious gas valve.

The Runs
Diarrhea in horses isn't something to be taken lightly. Runny feces can indicate some pretty serious health problems, so if your horse has diarrhea for no apparent reason, especially if itís accompanied by a change of attitude, appetite or higher temperature, itís time to call the vet. Then thereís the diarrhea that happens at competitions and other events. This is caused by nerves. The Ďick factorí can really escalate if this happens when youíre brushing out the tail, or cleaning the hind hooves. Not only is it messy, especially if youíre trying to keep you and your horse clean for the show ring, it also means you have to try to entice your horse to drink as often as possible. Diarrhea, no matter what the cause, can lead to dehydration.

Urination
Itís great fun when you've brought your horse in from the pasture, where itís been grazing peacefully for the last twenty four hours, and it decides to relieve itself. Horses donít really seem to appreciate freshly cleaned stalls. And they donít really care that you have to scramble if they decide to relieve themselves while in cross ties. They are supremely indifferent to the large malodorous puddle now flowing down the stable aisle, and to the fact youíre wearing leather boots and aren't really sure of the best way to stem the tide.

Sneeze
What could be more fun than having your horse blow sticky horse sneeze all down the front of a clean shirt? Itís even more exciting when thereís some sort of chaff or dirt in the slime. This most frequently happens when youíre wearing a white top, or your show clothes. Horses do get colds and other infections and then things can go beyond gross.

Cough and Expel Gas
This is a classic combination guaranteed to bring non-horse lovers to their knees with laughter. Because no horse can ever just cough and pass gas once. It has to happen in multiples, so if anyone missed the first bout, theyíre sure to hear the second, and the third... One of the goals of showing is to catch the judgesí eye, so if this happens in the show ring, not only will you catch the judges eye, but their ear, along with the ear of every person standing along the rail.

Image Credit: © Kcho | Dreamstime.com
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