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The Eventers Dictionary - Part 2
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   22nd Sep 2013   •   3,900 views   •   1 comments
The Eventers Dictionary

Since the beginning of time, there has always been a certain communication barrier between horses and humans, mostly due to our unfortunate inability to learn to speak their language. This dictionary serves to break down that barrier by proving riders with a translation for what their commands mean to the equine mind. Or, more specifically, to the event horse’s mind. Eventers, after all, are certainly one of a kind.

Related Article: The Eventers Dictionary - Part 1
Related Article: Why I Regret Giving my Eventer a Holiday
Related Article: How to Ride a Dressage Test - The Eventer’s Version

In the Warm up:
What you say: “Let’s loosen up on a loose rein.”
What he hears: “You’re free! Do whatever you like – the cross country’s that way.”

The Eventers Dictionary

What you say: “Right, we’re going to walk on a 20 circle until you settle down.”
What he hears: “Seriously, the cross country course is right there! Jump the fence, and let’s go!”

In the Dressage:
What you say: “Straight down the centre line.”
What he hears: “Do a serpentine. That way you’ll see more cross country jumps!”

What you say: “Halt.”
What he hears: “Give me your best giraffe impression. How far can you see? What do the cross country jumps look like?”

What you say: “Turn left.”
What he hears: “Turn in whatever direction you see the most cross country jumps!”

What you say: “Canter.”
What he hears: “CROSS COUNTRY TIME!”

In the Cross Country:
What you say: “Go!”
What he hears: “Go!”

What you say: “Okay, here’s a jump, easy...”
What he hears: “Gallop! Full speed ahead!”

The Eventers Dictionary

What you say: “Quick, turn for the skinny!”
What he hears: “There’s a big brush over there. Go get it!”

What you say: “WOAH!”
What he hears: “To infinity... And beyond!”

In the Showjumping:
What you say: “Now jump carefully. Pick up your toes.”
What he hears: “These poles fall down. After our demolition derby, let’s go out on the cross country course again!”
Horse News More In This Category:  Shows and Events      Horse News More From This Author:  Polo the Weirdo
Simka  
Completely the opposite of my old hunter pony.

Me : Walk.
Him : Stand there and act goofy.

Me : Trot.
Him : Still stand there and act awkward.

Me : Canter, you crazy lump of pony!
Him : Stares at my waiting trainer.

Me : Okay, good, you are cantering. Now jump, pwease?
Him : That jump has a weirder face than mine. Staring contest!

Oh my, the difference between a hunter and an eventer.
  29 days ago  •  4,180 views
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