Items

Forums
Horses vs. Cars
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   12th Nov 2013   •   8,437 views   •   2 comments
Horses vs Cars

After finally starting driving lessons this week (Better late than never, right?), I feel that I must share the few minor differences I've noticed in driving a car as opposed to riding a horse.

1. Unless there is food or perhaps a bowel movement involved, a horse will almost never cut out.

2. If your horse does cut out, it will almost never be in front of a traffic light or stop sign, blocking a queue of red-faced drivers going to town on their hooters.

3. If a horse starts going too fast, you have the option to bail, usually without getting mortally wounded. Jumping out of the car window may have slightly more sinister results.

4. When faced with an immovable solid object and without instruction, any sensible horse would either go around it, over it, or stop before colliding with it. A car will not. At least, not until you remember that the silly pedal on the right is in fact not the brake.

5. A horse will generally not die when going through deep water.

6. When driving a car, you are somewhat less likely to get bugs in your eyes, nose, mouth, ears, and pretty much everywhere else on your face that theyíre always so determined to get.

7. If your car already lost its windshield from the collision with a certain solid, immovable object, you are in fact far more likely to have a diet based on bugs for the foreseeable future.

8. When trying to turn a horse, a rider will almost never become confused between the windscreen wipers and the indicators.

9. Even if you blow its engine, a horse generally wonít burst into flames.

10. Cars are far less cuddly than horses. In fact, hugging one is almost entirely pointless, unless itís a Ferrari or Lamborghini of some sort. Then itís totally okay.
Horse News More In This Category:  General      Horse News More From This Author:  Polo the Weirdo
Winniefield Park  
All true, although I have swallowed the odd bug while galloping down the trail. Just the same, on cold snowy mornings, I'm glad to be able to climb into my warm car, rather than having to harness up my horse with freezing fingers and drive in an open sleigh! And, I've never cried over a car. Can't say the same for horses.
  Nov 14, 2013  •  10,470 views
 
GrayceRomeo  
HAHA!
  18 days ago  •  8,459 views
 More News by Polo the Weirdo
Baby Horse Diaries - Baby Horses Are Like Underwear
10th Nov 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Yesterday, while dressing to go down to the stables and exercise the half-ton creatures that spend their lives trying to kill me, I got my foot stuck in a hole in my underwear that was definitely not supposed to be there. This mad ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Dont Hurt Me No More
19th Oct 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Since I have had my Baby Horses, Sunny and De Niro, I have had one fall off each, which is really not bad going through all the toddler tantrums! Honestly, I was feeling quite proud of myself. Until today. ...
Baby Horse Diaries - If Baby Horses Could Name Things
28th Sep 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
If youíve ever owned, trained, or otherwise interacted with a baby horse, you will know that sometimes they just seem to see the world differently to us. Whether itís the shallow rain puddle thatís clearly hiding sharks, or the in ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Sass Levels Reach All Time High
7th Jul 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
This is not fake news. Our sources have confirmed that Baby Niro displayed excessively high levels of sass recently when being ridden in the arena after a week off work. Witnesses report high levels of head tossing and neck flicki ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Starter Kit
16th Jun 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
So you just bought yourself a baby horse? I bet youíre wondering what youíll need to help you in this new chapter of your life! Well never fear, Baby Horse Diaries is here to answer all of your questions. To create your own Baby H ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Playtime (AKA the Hunger Games)
9th Jun 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Baby horses, like most babies, are curious, energetic and playful beings that constantly seek out new means of entertainment. In fact, one of the most fun things about having a baby horse is all the wonderful new games that you ge ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Energy Levels
3rd Jun 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Here is my top 10 SECRET list of master plans for dealing with excess energy in horses. ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Baby Horses Are Stupid
26th May 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Baby horses are really neat. When you get them they are stupid. You know theyíre stupid, any rational human being can expect them to be stupid, and they donít know theyíre stupid because they donít know anything. Because theyíre s ...
  View All News by Polo the Weirdo
 
©2002 - 2020   PonyBox LLC Create Account Terms & Conditions Privacy Contact Us
398 Members Online 261,141 Registered Members 2,666 News Articles 11,331,193 Unique News Article Views 268,810,091 Website Views