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Terrible Horse Names
 By Winniefield Park   •   2nd Feb 2014   •   5,952 views   •   17 comments
Terrible Horse NamesLike most of you, I take a lot of care when naming a horse. I try to match the name to the horse's nature or appearance. I like names that are dignified, yet easy to say. I think names are important. But every now and then I come across a horse name that makes me ask, “what we're they thinking.” Here are some examples.

You don't have to go too far to find terrible names in the horse-racing world. My particular 'unfavorite' is Kitcheneronatuesday. Kitchener is the location of a horse auction where horses are routinely sent to be sent to slaughter. One of the reasons race horses, both Thoroughbred and Standardbred, have odd names is that when big stables have lots of foals to register, choosing a name can be time consuming, so a list of quickly cobbled together names are sent for each foal, and the name they get isn't always the most elegant or appropriate. However, I thought that name was just rather cruel.

Arabian names can be real tongue-twisters, besides being difficult to type. Back when I used to compile event results for a newsletter, my favorite name was Bo. It was easy to type, and I never misspelled or mispronounced it. A lot of terrible Arabian names were polysyllabic, how-the-heck-do you say that. Another that had me hitting the backspace key every other letter was Ibn Jafeeryahyah—ugh. Good thing that most registries put a limit on the number of letters in a name, or they could go on forever.

Then there are the names that are more like warnings. While I think it's nice to match the horse's nature with its name, perhaps too much honesty isn't a good thing. Pony names like Al Capony and Pony Soprano may be a little too telling. Watch out for your toes with Pondarous Dancer. Painella Please suggests there is an injury in the rider's future. I hope that Smokin Hot Potential fulfils his potential. And I hope I'm Guaranteed Good lives up to her name too. But riders of Risky, I'm A Little Nasty, Let R Buck, Death Breath, Blazin Revenge and Trailer Park Romeo beware. Buying Latest Folly might be a mistake. Likewise, look out for Barn Fire.

Some people don't like human names for horses like Jack, Derrick, Bob, Bill, Bart, Mary, April or Franny. I can see how human names might confuse things in a conversation. Then there are white horses named Midnight (could have been born black), bay horses named Silver, chestnut horses named Moonlight (harvest moon?) and solid black horses named Snowdrop. And it doesn't seem right to name a 17.2hh warmblood Tiny and a Miniature Horse Goliath. And Last Hurrah, I hope, gets a nice retirement home.

What's the worst horse name you've heard?
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Dark Star  
We have a mare at the barn named Gracie who couldn't walk a straight line without falling over her feet for the first 6 years of her life. She was the most clutsy mare in the entire world. It takes skills for a horse to fall over on you twice in a 1 hour long trail ride. (flipped over on me, then fell down a hill). I haven't rode the dang mare since, although she is a lot better now. haha
  Feb 2, 2014  •  6,663 views
 
GoodMorning  
My mare's registered name is Do It. Can kind of see how they got that out of Dorstat and Nitty Gritty, but it's still a stupid name. I also never understood naming a horse Dude or Cowboy. It's like naming a person Horse.
  Feb 3, 2014  •  6,457 views
 
IggyPogo  
Etch's original barn name was Itchy. (I still call him that in private, because even though he's too beautiful to be called Itchy, it fits his personality)

We have a new horse coming in named Kandyman. I don't know why, but I think it's a disgusting name. >.
  Feb 3, 2014  •  6,761 views
 
Americano Freedom Stables  
we had a horse named Boogie (came with that name) but we where concerned lesson kids would call her booger so we renamed her Tula.

now my horse's name is Domino, but it makes me think he's going to cause kahos since he's a jumper so im trying to get everyone to call him oreo (black and white)
  Feb 3, 2014  •  6,473 views
 
laoise conway  
I have a pony called secret and I called her that because she was a secret for 6 months and was given to me for my birthday. people say secret is a stupid name but I dont care i love her all the same
  Feb 3, 2014  •  6,488 views
 
Valkyrie  MOD 
My boss's horses have interesting names - Good'nuff, Sawyer and Floozy are her main ones.
  Feb 4, 2014  •  6,613 views
 
RiderIssie  
I hate it when you get horse names that are a lot like us people's name. For example, Billy. I just don't think that it seems right naming your horse after names for us. Personally, I prefer unique and different names
  50 days ago  •  6,552 views
 
Polo the Weirdo  MOD 
I used to ride a pony called Vin Diesel. Boy did that make for some interesting conversations. :P
  47 days ago  •  6,649 views
 
Hems Foresters  
It's quite a random name but I like Bugsy as a name:)
  45 days ago  •  6,414 views
 
Valkyrie  MOD 
I thought it was super weird that my old boss called her main gelding Goodnuff. But it suits him. She also has a Floozy (real name Elancia, but everyone calls her Floozy), a Stewie (who is small and grumpy), and a Sawyer.

Some of the TB names at the stud where I work are also interesting. One is actually super rude. It's a wonder how it was ever accepted by the registry. Others include Balbeel, Keep Alight, Copita, Lady Firebird, Ekstreme, Gimmick, Pride of Tralee, O'Bey, Femmena, Zantelagh, Inshelucky, Lovetrista, Danger Point, Organdy, Lazaan, Baby Guinness, Tinderbox, La Quinta Gold, Haughty Miss and Game Duchess.

It's super funny because yearlings have no names of their own (as they are to be sold) so they're all known by their dam's names. Which means we get colts with feminine names like Glamorous Girl XD
  Oct 31, 2014  •  4,967 views
 
Winniefield Park  
I guess when you have a barn full of foals to be named, and everyone else does too, you can't be too picky. Racehorses have some seriously weird names sometimes.
  Nov 1, 2014  •  4,959 views
 
Oblivyous  
There's a line of Appaloosas where the sires name was I'm A Booger Man, so his foals are I'm A Booger Baby, Booger Baby Too, etc. Those poor horses. We have a TB in our barn whose registered name is Hunk. Kinda fits him though, lol. Mother changed it to Artos anyway. My horse's registered name is One Last Drum. I like it, so I kept it.
  Nov 7, 2014  •  4,894 views
 
EmeraldEagle  
My poor mare's registered name is "Why am I a Dun". Apparently her sire is homozygous black tobiano. Her previous owners called her Whyma. We call her Venus.
  Nov 23, 2014  •  4,778 views
 
The Crimson Klutz  
At my barn we have had some misnomers like kiefir, who never three a rider in his life nor even attempted to was M-T Saddle ( pronounced empty saddle)

And then we have some capital obvious names like red, a 16hh chestnut qh is Red Thunder.

But the worst ewas at a barn I worked, and rode for imported a stallion from Italy. His show named, the itllian stallion.... That became and interesting one at shows.....
  14 days ago  •  4,243 views
 
Valoroso  
Just thought I'd point out that Kitchener could also be referring to Herbert Kitchener, British military leader from WWI. Which would be a great name as he played a major role in the beginning of the war and was well-respected.
  7 days ago  •  4,206 views
 
Winniefield Park  
I just noticed the comment about Kitchener way down below. Sadly, this is not the case. Many Stbds at the time were sent to Kitchener auction if their race career didn't work out. There, they had a good chance at becoming Mennonite horses or going for meat--not such a great thanks for their effort. :(
  Jun 25, 2015  •  3,803 views
 
Wester Cliff Equestrian
My horses registered name is PINE GENETICS. LORD HELP ME
  Jul 9, 2015  •  3,711 views
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