Items

Forums
How Many Riders Does It Take To Write An Essay
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   26th Jul 2014   •   2,784 views   •   5 comments
How Many Riders Does It Take To Write An Essay

Any of us who have ever been forced to attend some kind of educational institution have most likely encountered, at some point, that horrendous piece of mental strain that we call ‘the essay’. Essays may seem easy in theory, but who among us has not sat up all night with an energy drink and a pen-cramped hand, screaming through tears that there’s just NO WAY we could write 1800 words on how the world would be different if platypuses wore hats? The point is, essays are an unfortunate part of educational life, and each of us must develop our own unique approach to churn out essay after essay whilst keeping our sanity intact.

So, if riders of different disciplines each had to write an essay, how would they approach it?

Dressage Rider: “Right, I’m going to practice every topic in this essay over and over and over every day for as long as it takes to get it absolutely perfect! Then and only then will I start my essay! ...What, a deadline you say? Well, um... This complicates things...”

Eventer: “As long as I get to the end of the essay by the deadline, who the heck cares how I got there?”

Jockey: “Oh, essay? No, I didn’t do that. The teacher left it on her desk, so I couldn’t reach.”

Endurance Rider: “I’ll just keep on typing all day long, who cares about word limits?”

Western Pleasure Rider: “An essay? That sounds like a lot of work. I’ll just go for a hack instead.”

Hunter: “What essay? Hey, who took my champagne?!”

Reining Rider: “Can’t write essay... Too... Dizzy...”

Equitation Rider: “My essay writing technique is so good, I can even write other people’s essays.”

Vaulter: “I can write essays while doing gymnastics, and I can do it to music.”

Barrel Racer: “REACH THE WORD LIMIT AS FAST AS POSSIBLE!”

Show Rider: “My essay is the best because my handwriting is the prettiest. Hopefully this teacher is smart enough to recognize true talent!”

Showjumper: “I’m going to approach each topic with confidence and precision to produce a flawless essay. Also, my pen is more expensive than yours, so that automatically makes me a better writer. Duh."
Horse News More In This Category:  General      Horse News More From This Author:  Polo the Weirdo
Echo Valley  
Oh my gosh... the Dressage rider is so me xD
  Jul 26, 2014  •  2,855 views
 
Dark Star  
LOL, barrel racer here. VERY TRUE. haha Who needs content as long as you reach the word limit.
  Jul 26, 2014  •  2,839 views
 
Oblivyous  
I'm definitely an Eq rider, lol.
  Jul 26, 2014  •  2,809 views
 
Polo the Weirdo  MOD 
I think I must confess that my technique is probably closest to Endurance Rider or Hunter, depending on just how enthusiastic I'm feeling about my education at the time. :P
  Jul 26, 2014  •  2,804 views
 
Briseno TBs  
lmbo, I found this waaaay too funny xD Especially since I have to write and essay right now.
  Sep 11, 2014  •  2,428 views
 More News by Polo the Weirdo
400 Horses Killed Each Month Due to COVID Lockdown
17th May 2020   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
The elongated shutdown of racing brings with it many great consequences, many of which are already beginning to show as owners, breeders and trainers alike are forced to begin euthanasia of horses they can no longer afford to keep ...
Why Equestrians Relate to Tiger King
23rd Apr 2020   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
With the Covid-19 pandemic sweeping the globe, people the world over are doing exactly what one would expect modern man to do in a time of great crisis. They are binge-watching eccentric Netflix documentaries. The specific documen ...
How to Stay Sane During Lockdown - A Guide for Equestrians
11th Apr 2020   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
With our current global pandemic, many equestrians the world over are suddenly being forced to face a horseless reality as entire nations enter lockdown. It is a miserable and testing time, but equestrians are tough. We’re gonna m ...
Equestrian In Lockdown
5th Apr 2020   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
On the first day of lockdown, most of us sat in our homes. Silent, shellshocked, looking through old pictures of our horses and trying to come to terms with the fact that we had to be without them for 3 whole weeks. Worrying about ...
Dear Baby Horse - Regarding The Gate
29th Mar 2020   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
I am a long-time sufferer of your shenanigans, and I am writing to express my concern about recent discussion and the pending decision to implement an exit the arena at any given opportunity policy. I understand that the decision ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Baby Horses Are Like Underwear
10th Nov 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Yesterday, while dressing to go down to the stables and exercise the half-ton creatures that spend their lives trying to kill me, I got my foot stuck in a hole in my underwear that was definitely not supposed to be there. This mad ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Dont Hurt Me No More
19th Oct 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Since I have had my Baby Horses, Sunny and De Niro, I have had one fall off each, which is really not bad going through all the toddler tantrums! Honestly, I was feeling quite proud of myself. Until today. ...
Baby Horse Diaries - If Baby Horses Could Name Things
28th Sep 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
If you’ve ever owned, trained, or otherwise interacted with a baby horse, you will know that sometimes they just seem to see the world differently to us. Whether it’s the shallow rain puddle that’s clearly hiding sharks, or the in ...
  View All News by Polo the Weirdo
 
©2002 - 2020   PonyBox LLC Create Account Terms & Conditions Privacy Contact Us
154 Members Online 267,233 Registered Members 2,734 News Articles 11,612,440 Unique News Article Views 276,301,113 Website Views