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How Many Riders Does It Take To Write An Essay
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   26th Jul 2014   •   2,411 views   •   5 comments
How Many Riders Does It Take To Write An Essay

Any of us who have ever been forced to attend some kind of educational institution have most likely encountered, at some point, that horrendous piece of mental strain that we call ‘the essay’. Essays may seem easy in theory, but who among us has not sat up all night with an energy drink and a pen-cramped hand, screaming through tears that there’s just NO WAY we could write 1800 words on how the world would be different if platypuses wore hats? The point is, essays are an unfortunate part of educational life, and each of us must develop our own unique approach to churn out essay after essay whilst keeping our sanity intact.

So, if riders of different disciplines each had to write an essay, how would they approach it?

Dressage Rider: “Right, I’m going to practice every topic in this essay over and over and over every day for as long as it takes to get it absolutely perfect! Then and only then will I start my essay! ...What, a deadline you say? Well, um... This complicates things...”

Eventer: “As long as I get to the end of the essay by the deadline, who the heck cares how I got there?”

Jockey: “Oh, essay? No, I didn’t do that. The teacher left it on her desk, so I couldn’t reach.”

Endurance Rider: “I’ll just keep on typing all day long, who cares about word limits?”

Western Pleasure Rider: “An essay? That sounds like a lot of work. I’ll just go for a hack instead.”

Hunter: “What essay? Hey, who took my champagne?!”

Reining Rider: “Can’t write essay... Too... Dizzy...”

Equitation Rider: “My essay writing technique is so good, I can even write other people’s essays.”

Vaulter: “I can write essays while doing gymnastics, and I can do it to music.”

Barrel Racer: “REACH THE WORD LIMIT AS FAST AS POSSIBLE!”

Show Rider: “My essay is the best because my handwriting is the prettiest. Hopefully this teacher is smart enough to recognize true talent!”

Showjumper: “I’m going to approach each topic with confidence and precision to produce a flawless essay. Also, my pen is more expensive than yours, so that automatically makes me a better writer. Duh."
Horse News More In This Category:  General      Horse News More From This Author:  Polo the Weirdo
Echo Valley  
Oh my gosh... the Dressage rider is so me xD
  Jul 26, 2014  •  2,477 views
 
Dark Star  
LOL, barrel racer here. VERY TRUE. haha Who needs content as long as you reach the word limit.
  Jul 26, 2014  •  2,461 views
 
Oblivyous  
I'm definitely an Eq rider, lol.
  Jul 26, 2014  •  2,431 views
 
Polo the Weirdo  MOD 
I think I must confess that my technique is probably closest to Endurance Rider or Hunter, depending on just how enthusiastic I'm feeling about my education at the time. :P
  Jul 26, 2014  •  2,426 views
 
Briseno TBs  
lmbo, I found this waaaay too funny xD Especially since I have to write and essay right now.
  Sep 11, 2014  •  2,050 views
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