Items

Forums
If Horses Went To School
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   20th Mar 2017   •   1,080 views   •   0 comments
If Horses Went To School

Have you ever wondered what the world would be like if horses went to school to learn how to be ridden, instead of just being backed by their owners or trainers? And I don’t mean ‘school’ as in spelling farms or professional training facilities. I mean ‘school’ as in Mean Girls or High School Musical. Chances are, the world would be pretty different – at least for their human teachers and classmates. In fact, for them, it would probably be downright weird. For example...

1. Unlike human students, equine students would most likely have a tendency to stop dead and freeze several times during each new activity, and point-blank refuse to continue.

“Fluffy, can you tell me what 1+1 is?” Fluffy: *staring into space like a statue* “Fluffy?” ... (Resume class ten minutes after passing law to allow use of a schooling whip in maths class)

2. Say goodbye to the ‘no eating in class’ rule. Equine students, being grazers, would be constantly snacking – if not on food, then probably on their notes. “When the rider uses their outside leg you should-“ *giant munch-hole*

3. Toilet passes would become a thing of the past because class would have to be put on hold until the equine student had completed his ‘activity’ and was ready to resume learning. Baby horses really don’t like to multitask.

4. Detention halls would be a lot more crowded, since biting people (and chewing on their property) is generally frowned upon in civilized society.

5. Physical Education classes would require an on-site ambulance. Especially when playing contact sports.

6. In the event of a stomach ache, instead of just letting the student lie down, a teacher would have to chase the equine student around the classroom, yelling and clapping her hands like a mad woman. Additionally, the school would probably have to immediately contact a doctor, fireman, priest and exorcist to make sure they don’t get sued.

7. All playground games that involve stepping on toes would immediately become extreme sports.

8. It would take at least 30 minutes longer to start every class, since equine students would be lined up spooking at the doorway and refusing to go inside. Then again, that doesn’t sound too different from most human kids’ attitudes. It certainly matches mine.

9. The same lesson would have to be taught multiple times every day. Repetition is key.

10. In the event of an equine teacher not understanding the lesson, they would most likely object by bucking back and forth across the classroom until somebody presented them with a carrot or a stick (whatever method the school chooses to use).

11. All strict teachers would probably get kicked.

12. Every ring of the bell would cause a school-wide stampede. A literal one.

13. For human students, I think it’s safe to say school would be a fair amount more exciting. If potentially lethal.

Overall, it seems like things would be pretty... uh... ‘Interesting’. And teachers would have to have more patience than Leonardo Di Caprio waiting for his first Oscar. How do you think the world would be different if you had baby horses attending your school? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Horse News More In This Category:  General      Horse News More From This Author:  Polo the Weirdo
 More News by Polo the Weirdo
Baby Horse Diaries - Baby Horses Are Like Underwear
10th Nov 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Yesterday, while dressing to go down to the stables and exercise the half-ton creatures that spend their lives trying to kill me, I got my foot stuck in a hole in my underwear that was definitely not supposed to be there. This mad ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Dont Hurt Me No More
19th Oct 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Since I have had my Baby Horses, Sunny and De Niro, I have had one fall off each, which is really not bad going through all the toddler tantrums! Honestly, I was feeling quite proud of myself. Until today. ...
Baby Horse Diaries - If Baby Horses Could Name Things
28th Sep 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
If you’ve ever owned, trained, or otherwise interacted with a baby horse, you will know that sometimes they just seem to see the world differently to us. Whether it’s the shallow rain puddle that’s clearly hiding sharks, or the in ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Sass Levels Reach All Time High
7th Jul 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
This is not fake news. Our sources have confirmed that Baby Niro displayed excessively high levels of sass recently when being ridden in the arena after a week off work. Witnesses report high levels of head tossing and neck flicki ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Starter Kit
16th Jun 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
So you just bought yourself a baby horse? I bet you’re wondering what you’ll need to help you in this new chapter of your life! Well never fear, Baby Horse Diaries is here to answer all of your questions. To create your own Baby H ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Playtime (AKA the Hunger Games)
9th Jun 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Baby horses, like most babies, are curious, energetic and playful beings that constantly seek out new means of entertainment. In fact, one of the most fun things about having a baby horse is all the wonderful new games that you ge ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Energy Levels
3rd Jun 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Here is my top 10 SECRET list of master plans for dealing with excess energy in horses. ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Baby Horses Are Stupid
26th May 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Baby horses are really neat. When you get them they are stupid. You know they’re stupid, any rational human being can expect them to be stupid, and they don’t know they’re stupid because they don’t know anything. Because they’re s ...
  View All News by Polo the Weirdo
 
©2002 - 2019   PonyBox LLC Create Account Terms & Conditions Privacy Contact Us
331 Members Online 256,331 Registered Members 2,640 News Articles 11,184,160 Unique News Article Views 263,317,159 Website Views