Scandalous Horse Names
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   29th Mar 2017   •   1,981 views   •   0 comments
We’ve all heard about the horse named President Trump by now, but his isn’t the first racehorse name to draw attention. The Jockey Club has banned many inappropriate names (most of which are too R-rated to appear here), and in fact allowed many a questionable or simply ‘odd’ one through. This, of course, is a complete and utter blessing for those of us watching the races, or following the commentary! Here are some of the funniest horse names in history, accompanied by some videos of exactly the hilarious sort of chaos that can ensue from them.

1. Flat Fleet Feet (1993). This daughter of Afleet (Mr. Prospector) raced 23 times with 7 wins for total earnings of $727,041. Not only was she a successful racehorse, but almost certainly gave her owners and trainers a stack of vindictive laughs when they got to listen to the poor commentators of those 23 races trying to say their horse’s name 100 times quickly. Try it – it’s not easy! In fact, it makes this commentator’s impressive immunity to tongue-tying seem almost inhuman!

2. Hoof Hearted. Originally the name of a Canadian mare born in 1981, this name was so beloved by the equestrian community that it was in fact recycled and given to a 1993 European filly. The original Hoof Hearted got to take the mickey out of race commentators 65 times, despite modest earnings of only $40,345. Clearly those involved were just in it for the laugh! If you don’t understand why this name is funny, say it out loud a few times, or just listen to the video. You’ll get it pretty fast. After all, who of us hasn’t asked this fateful question at some point during our school careers? Hoof Hearted will definitely make anyone who tried to say her name the butt of many a joke.

3. Who Gives a Donald (1987). Although he only raced 3 times, this horse is certainly remembered for his name – probably more so following the President Trump Scandal! Though the name’s original humour came from its Cockney slang meaning (which is slightly too rude to repeat here), the laughter multiplies tenfold when applied to the current political context. Who Gives a Donald if you call your horse President Trump anyway?

4. Waikikamukau (1990). This horse raced 68 times for total earnings of $848,415. His name is pronounced “Why kick a moo cow”. Like Hoof Hearted, yet another of life’s great questions is posed here by the name of a racehorse.

5. ARRRRR (2004). This gelding raced 33 times for earnings of $98,534, but that’s certainly not what he’ll be remembered for. With almost 500 000 views, this video of a commentator embracing his inner pirate to the name’s full potential went just about viral. Whether the horse was named on pirate day, or whether he was named for what his owner was saying whilst trying to come up with a name that met Jockey Club rules we can’t be sure, but whichever it was, the result was ARRRRRtstanding.

6. My Wife Knows Everything and The Wife Doesn’t Know. In one of the most hilarious racing videos ever, announcer Larry Collmus calls a race between these two ironically named horses, with the obviously expected result a wife knowing everything always beats a wife not knowing. Sorry boys, if you want to win, you better keep your wives in the know!

7. Sorry About That (1985). Out of Running Naked and by Guilty Conscience, this name certainly tells a story! But with a career of 6 wins and $220,268 in earnings over 27 starts, this colt’s performance is one thing he definitely doesn’t have to be sorry about.

8. Ha Ha Ha. This name was given first to an American gelding in 1985, and again to a Brazilian filly in 2011. As you can imagine, announcing the name “Ha Ha Ha” in what is supposed to be a serious horse race is not an easy thing for a commentator to do. As it turned out, however, the last laugh was on the owner, with Ha Ha Ha performing exactly like the joke his name destined him to be.

9. Odor in the Court (1996). This colt’s name was inspired by his sire, Judge Smells. Not only is it a clever play on his pedigree, but also rather accurate, for if a horse ever did enter a court, he most likely would produce an unpleasant odor.

10. Onoitsmymothernlaw (2005). This mare gave commentator Tom Durkin a blast; after all, who among us don’t share the sentiment behind this name at least some of the time? Durkin clearly does! Let’s hope his mother in law wasn’t watching the race.

What are the funniest horse names you’ve ever heard? Share in the comments below.
Horse News More PB Articles About:  Horse Names,
Horse News More In This Category:  General      Horse News More From This Author:  Polo the Weirdo
 Related Horse News
Terrible Horse Names
2nd Feb 2014   |   General   |   Winniefield Park
Like most of you, I take a lot of care when naming a horse. I try to match the name to the horse's nature or appearance. I like names that are dignified, yet easy to say. I think names are important. But every now and then I come ...
How To Name Your Horse or Foal Based on Horsenality
29th Apr 2013   |   General   |   Winniefield Park
Do you have a new horse to name? If you're buying a horse, it may come with a name. But that doesn't mean you like the name, and you may want to choose something more suitable. You may already have a name in mind and that's perfec ...
Scandalous Horse Names
29th Mar 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
We’ve all heard about the horse named President Trump by now, but his isn’t the first racehorse name to draw attention. The Jockey Club has banned many inappropriate names (most of which are too R-rated to appear here), and in fac ...
How To Name A Racehorse
31st Mar 2017   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Following the recent scandal of President Trump’s name being changed to Fake News after the horse received just a little too much attention from the press (which offended some people), it seems like a good time to consider just ex ...
Naming Your Child After A Horse
30th Mar 2019   |   General   |   Winniefield Park
There are several names that in the near past have been popular. Colt, is of course a male baby horse, and Ryder is obvious. Blaze may be a boy’s name, or change it a little to Blaize for a girl. Or Maverick, which is a wild horse ...
  View More PonyBox Related Horse Articles
 More News by Polo the Weirdo
Baby Horse Diaries - If Baby Horses Could Name Things
28th Sep 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
If you’ve ever owned, trained, or otherwise interacted with a baby horse, you will know that sometimes they just seem to see the world differently to us. Whether it’s the shallow rain puddle that’s clearly hiding sharks, or the in ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Sass Levels Reach All Time High
7th Jul 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
This is not fake news. Our sources have confirmed that Baby Niro displayed excessively high levels of sass recently when being ridden in the arena after a week off work. Witnesses report high levels of head tossing and neck flicki ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Starter Kit
16th Jun 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
So you just bought yourself a baby horse? I bet you’re wondering what you’ll need to help you in this new chapter of your life! Well never fear, Baby Horse Diaries is here to answer all of your questions. To create your own Baby H ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Playtime (AKA the Hunger Games)
9th Jun 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Baby horses, like most babies, are curious, energetic and playful beings that constantly seek out new means of entertainment. In fact, one of the most fun things about having a baby horse is all the wonderful new games that you ge ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Energy Levels
3rd Jun 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Here is my top 10 SECRET list of master plans for dealing with excess energy in horses. ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Baby Horses Are Stupid
26th May 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Baby horses are really neat. When you get them they are stupid. You know they’re stupid, any rational human being can expect them to be stupid, and they don’t know they’re stupid because they don’t know anything. Because they’re s ...
Baby Horse Diaries - Meet The Babies
19th May 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Today I would like to introduce the stars of our series, VanRee De Niro (Baby Niro), and Little Miss Sunshine (Baby Sunny). ...
Baby Horse Diaries Introduction
12th May 2019   |   General   |   Polo the Weirdo
Some of you might remember that about 8 years ago I created a series on Ponybox documenting my progress in retraining a young Thoroughbred racehorse, Moonfire, for his eventing career. Those of you who continued to follow my (admi ...
  View All News by Polo the Weirdo
©2002 - 2019   PonyBox LLC Create Account Terms & Conditions Privacy Contact Us
100 Members Online 253,506 Registered Members 2,618 News Articles 11,084,897 Unique News Article Views 259,248,964 Website Views