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Baby Horse Diaries - Energy Levels
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   3rd Jun 2019   •   89 views   •   0 comments
Baby Horse Diaries Energy Levels

Baby horses often just have an ‘excess’ of things – more than their baby selves are equipped to deal with. Like limbs, things to spook at, ideas of how to spook at things, etc. But the thing they have the biggest excess of is energy! Like oh my god. I’m pretty sure if you could harness the excess energy of all the baby horses in a single stableyard or, you know, just my baby horses, you could probably power an entire city. You may think that’s an exaggeration, but seriously, when you’ve been riding for over an hour and every canter transition still occurs about 3 feet from the ground, the amount of energy is just too damn high! And don’t talk to me about cutting feed – do that, and they will immediately schedule a growth spurt and turn into (still overly energetic) walking (or probably galloping) skeletons.

Baby Horse Diaries Energy Levels

It’s a problem. So, herewith included is my TOP SECRET (ie, not for the eyes of baby horses) list of master plans for dealing with baby horse excess energy.

1. Giant hamsterballs for horses. Put them all in giant balls, attach those to the power grid, then shake a plastic packet and provide power to the nation (at a nominal fee). If you have to deal with overly-energetic baby horses, you might as well profit from it.

2. Make sure they have plenty of access to ‘grass’. Play Bob Marley on repeat until they start to chill.

3. Tell them that the horses on the carousel want to make friends. Eat popcorn and laugh cruelly while they chase after them, screaming unrequited love.

4. Change your chosen discipline to bronc riding, and just go with it.

5. Replace baby horses’ diet with my own, and mine with theirs. So they can be permanently exhausted, and I can win a marathon. Twice.

6. Make sure that all their coffee is decaf. Also make sure that they do not have access to any coffee.

7. Sleeping pills?

8. Hire a work rider. If you are a work rider, hire a younger work rider.

9. Lunge for 3 years before trying to ride.

10. Send horse to a very rowdy and overcrowded social gathering. Remember that horse is extroverted. Regret vehemently.

If you find any success with these or any other methods, please share your wisdom. For now, I and thousands more like me will suffer on, trying to train half-ton animals that like to pretend to be caffeinated squirrels.

Baby Horse Diaries Energy Levels
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