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Baby Horse Diaries - Sass Levels Reach All Time High
 By Polo the Weirdo   •   7th Jul 2019   •   307 views   •   0 comments
BREAKING NEWS - Baby Horse Sass Levels Reach All Time High!

Breaking News

This is not fake news. Our sources have confirmed that Baby Niro displayed excessively high levels of sass recently when being ridden in the arena after a week off work. Witnesses report high levels of head tossing and neck flicking, followed by many grunts and the occasional buck and leap. One rider was carted at full speed from one end of the arena to the other at the absolutely horrific sight of a horse walking past on the road.

Based on previous evidence, current sass levels are shown to be at least 300% what was exhibited in the past. Scientists theorize that there may be a direct correlation between baby horse energy levels, and the sass levels shown, with energy levels also sitting at a whopping 300%. Experts are researching ways to decrease energy levels. Results so far have been unsuccessful.

Breaking News

Provided below is a list of things equally as high as Baby Horse Sass Levels at present:

• Donald Trump’s ego.
• Confidence levels of the average white male millennial.
• The Empire State Building.
• Mount Everest.
• Bob Marley’s Ghost.
• The average cost of rent.
• Number of ‘The Bird Box’ memes on social media.
• Number of your New Years resolutions that are already failed.
• The petrol/gasoline price.
• Crime rate in South Africa.
• Number of teenagers who say ‘bae’.
• Amount of people ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ for some reason.
• Katy Perry’s number of Twitter followers.
• The Mars Rover.

As research has shown, present Baby Horse Sass Levels are TOO DAMN HIGH!

Breaking News  Anonymous Witness:
“Usually Niro is an angel and a gentleman. Today, he had so much attitude he might as well have signed up for college, been rejected, started a massive viral online petition to be accepted, and then dropped out after a month of partying. I felt like a bottle of water someone forgot they left in their trunk before they took their car out street racing.”

Clearly this situation is not sustainable. Action has been taken to improve Sass Levels before casualties arise. Baby Niro was reported to have been taken on an uphill canter yesterday, wherein he spooked at a flappy plastic bag and threw his volunteer rider. Rider was unharmed. Sass-depletion efforts continue today with intense schooling and gridwork, and results show some improvement. Large pile of stones was deemed un-spooky, and strides were dropped into only 60% of fences. Moving forward, it is clear that more work is required to stabilize Sass Levels back to a sustainable number. Experts suggest that resting Baby Horses should be avoided wherever possible to prevent Sass Skyrocketing issues from repeating.

This story brought to you by Baby Horse Diaries and De Niro’s inflated attitude.

Check out another Polo The Weirdo Article Trick Training - Teach Your Horse to Kiss.

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